Seeing as you are staying in the area for a long time, a lot of the short duration spells aren't going to be great. However, some useful force spells to have studied (from Spell Compendium) would include Ethereal Chamber(p84), Forceward(p98), Forceclaw (p97), Force Missiles(p98) and Vortex of Teeth(p232).
The party will need to be able to See Invisible (p275 PHB) to see the spiders when they are ethereal.
I would recommend the following equipment:
- Rings of sustenance for everyone as they will then require much less sleep and no food/drink. (2500 gp each) or some Hewards Fortifying Bedrolls (1 hour sleep gives benefit of 8 hours sleep, Complete Mage p132, 3000gp)
- Wand of Magic Missile, possibly one made by a higher level caster to get more missiles per charge. (one made by a 9th level caster costs 6750gp, and gives 5 missiles)
- Rod of bodily restoration (MIC p173) (3100 gp) - heals STR, DEX or CON damage useful if the poison gets you
- Neutralise Poison potions (750 gp each) - A suggestion for using these would be to get the cleric (if you have one) to cast Delay Poison (PHB p217) on each party member, then for 8 hours the poison issue is moot and can then take a Neutralise poison potion just before the Delay Poison effect wears off.
Overall, the best way to go would be to avoid being attacked constantly possibly by:
- Charming/befriending the Queen/Boss spider if there is one. (difficult to say the least, Charm Monster might work)
- Illusion/polymorph to disguise as phase spiders (risky)
- Provide such a show of force that the phase spiders decide that you are not prey and avoid you.
- Rope Trick (PHB p273) would temporarily move you away from them.