# Is giving a kobold a weapon considered a marriage proposal?

I have a friend who played D&D 4e longer then me. One day we were adventuring in Kobold Hall and I convinced a female kobold to join our group. Soon after my character gave the kobold a weapon, my friend said this means proposing to a kobold.

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This shall now be true in my games. – Istvan Chung May 30 '14 at 0:06

In "official D&D 4e rules"? No. But if by "friend" you mean "my DM", then the answer might be yes. On the other hand, if by "friend" you mean a fellow player, they are most likely yanking your chain.

DMs are the ones responsible for deciding details of culture in their games, so it's up to them and we can't tell you for sure. Either way, ask your DM, since the Internet and D&D books can't give you a definitive yes or no.

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In addition, if it IS the DM saying this, it might be good to ask them "So... what is the fun part of this? Is this supposed to be a goofy game or am I supposed to be the comedic relief?" – user9935 May 29 '14 at 16:14

GM fiat. Your GM/DM says its true so it is true. Congratulations on your nuptuals!

The "accidental marriage" is a not uncommon sci-fi/fantasy plot line. It can be comedic but it can also be very tragic or go very wrong. For example Kobolds may also take "till death do us part" very seriously requiring you to kill or be killed to separate. It could also be a cover up (think Saffron from Firefly).

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Definitely consider a cover up/scam if the female kobold is actually a player character, and that player is the one mentioning the marriage – Izkata May 30 '14 at 16:50
Try not to meta-game though. As @Bankuei says in another comment determine if this is a goofy or serious campaign, then consider your characters attitude and history, and play the game. I think you have an entertaining situation to role play. – Freiheit May 31 '14 at 19:32

Much of that depends heavily on the actual lore of the game. First and foremost ask your DM. Kobold lore in various editions varies but I've never heard of that cultural factoid. Really though it depends on whatever your DM says is the cultural norm in your game, as well as who is actually RPing the kobold (likely your DM, but if it's someone else then it matters). The kobold's RPer is important because if it's someone other than your DM than it might be that the kobold believes that whether it's true or not.

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Just because I haven't seen it in any other answer: Does your character speak kobold? If the conversation happened in common, "join my party" partnered with a gift that means something to one or both parties (sword) could lose something in translation and move into "share all of my adventures with me". Not everyone with multiple languages speaks them all with equal grace. So your character may have unwittingly said the wrong thing between languages and then sparked the already proverbial beaten horse about DM caveat.

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I don't think I've ever heard of anything like this in the "traditional" D&D settings, but not many of these ever go too hugely deeply into the culture of kobolds in their worlds, and I'm not a huge canon expert on any of them anyway, so I could be mistaken.

If you're not in one of the traditional settings, though, then anything goes. Honestly, even if you are in one of the traditional settings, the DM might have ruled on this one way or the other, especially if that setting was silent on the particulars of kobold courtship ritual.

Truth be told, I doubt that your DM actually intends for your character to go through with marrying a kobold. This is more likely just setting up for some culture-shock silliness.

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I know it's not a 4E book, and I agree with the rest here in that it depends on your DM, but there is a 3.5 book called Races of the Dragon, which gives a really detailed look at kobold culture (including a section entitled Love), where it states that they "dislike other humanoid races" and are almost xenophobic, that they are drawn to a relationship "out of mutual respect and increased productivity", and that the couple must be approved by the leader of the tribe.

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