This is a long question. I´d be much obliged, if you would read it completely
My group and I just migrated from a DM whose VERY incongruent storytelling and deliberate punishment of non-hack&slay-solutions scared us off. We (mostly) kept our characters (since they are our first and much thought went into them) and decided to rotate GM-duties.
I am the first to GM, 3 sessions up to now, and i ran into problems.
These are manifold and i am afraid i have to go to some depth to explain them.
The social dynamics: we work as a team in a small theatre company. One of the players is my girlfriend. Another is a cool, funny guy. Both have very little experience, but playing with them is good fun. Along with the second session comes the third player: very experienced and all kinds of problematic.
a) Problems with the character:
First he builds some tripping monk, which is awfully weak compared to the other guys. He hates that character, so i help him kill him off and allow him to build a new one. (using the resurrection of their friend as a plot hook for the others). The new character is a Ninja2 / Fighter2 / chainmaster1. with a blooded template.(by the way, about two third of the build is the same as my girlfriends´) He assures me that the character isn´t that strong. That the Ninja is only there for the skillpoints... Today, he went invisible, crept behind three bowmen and killed them all by AoO when they fired. edit:(without breaking invisibility, because ghost step is weirdly worded...) The encounter was laughingly easy, because he had an ability I didn´t know worked that way. I feel tricked, because he told me that the Ninja´s ghost step wasn´t a big deal, yet obviously planned to use it exactly as he did. How should I react.
edit: I want to mention that i do not resent good feat combinations in any way. i just do not like the nasty surprise...
b) Problems with the Person
He´s, theoretically, a nice guy. He knows the rules far better than me. But he is so desperately squeezing for advantages. Every enemy he strikes at is flat-footed for some reason. An enemy fumbles an attack, losing his weapon: he does not say a word. He fumbles: bloody murder on how losing weapon on fumbles favors the critters. He advises me to nerf the abilities of the other players and nags about it. He doesn´t tell me how good his abilities are.
And on the social side: I played the first session without him, Girlfriend shy but active. Since: Whenever I ask her something, he gives advice. Girlfriend doesn´t say anything anymore. He bogs the game down with lots of rule lawyering. He is loud.
He really challenges my motivation.
I mean, he is loud and uncaring all the time, but D&D seems to pull out his very worst.
edit: He sure doesn´t mean to be. He just does not seem to perceive when he is behaving badly.
I do not want to start an argument (he starts blocking completely) and I´d rather not have to "forget" telling him when we play. I´d really appreciate advice.
edit, to the editors I think it´s great that you invest time into editing this question, but alas I´d be charmed if you would refrain from changing my grammar or choice of word. I happen to quite like the style which I used; used deliberately, by the way. If refraining is impossible, please delete the question.