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0

A lot of this will depend on the players. Some really do hate this kind of thing. But the way the DM lets a character be played when they are controlled can have a big impact on how much fun the player has when it happens. If the DM just takes it over and runs it then the player is left with nothing to do except feel pissed off. They get to sit out of the ...


2

This problem isn't directly related to RPGs, thus some of the advice here can apply equally to many social situations. Person 1: One, from all my experiences with him, is extremely sexist and loves to put girls 'back into their place' and to let them 'know where they belong'. You haven't listed specifically whether he is serious about this stuff, ...


-2

I'd look to the GM and ask them to play policeman. They should be able to provide fun and non-toxic environment for all players Get the GM to talk to the problem players beforehand and explain that if they can't treat you with respect that they won't be welcome to play at all. If they cross boundaries the GM should tell them to take a session off to think ...


1

Violently Sexist Someone who refers to people as 'it' is not safe to game with, especially if you are the target of their hatred (in this case due to gender). For them to dehumanize others in this strong a way shows that they will not show respect to you in any form without a lot of professional help. I wouldn't try to actually diagnose them because I'm not ...


33

I'm going to give you the best advice I wish I had when I first got into roleplaying - I use it to this day. Play games you like, with people you like. Vice versa - do not play games you do not like, or play with people you do not like. You may not be able to find a game right now. If you have access to Skype or Google Plus Hangouts or any kind of online ...


0

You could ask the DM to run a game with a social contract to respect all players and not be sexist. Perhaps it could be set in an in-game social context that is not sexist, where the players and/or society don't tolerate sexism. Players who break the rules will be ejected, and players who have been abusive in the past have already used up any warnings ...


5

Okay, I posted a few comments on here urging the OP not to play in this game at all. And I still think that she shouldn't. However, I was talking to my friend about this problem (we're both very seasoned players) and he offhandedly mentioned that she should roll a gnome and kill the chauvinist fellow's character every time he mouths off. Which gave me an ...


21

I may be late to the party, but I have had some experience on player and DM side of similar situations so I figure I could chime in. FIRST: As far as the sexist guy who calls you "it", that is unacceptable. Tell him straight: "You will address me in a way of my choosing and I will not accept anything less." (Or at least something along those lines. I know ...


13

I will list a few points that might help you, or somewhat alleviate your concerns. I'll have a brief example of situations I experienced that might be relevant. There is no 100% surefire way to ensure things go well, but knowing what you can do to make it go better helps. If a different player is trouble, ask them to be removed: I had a unpleasant ...


15

I think you are absolutely right to be concerned about integrating with this group, particularly given what you know about the backgrounds of the two players you mention. Before I go into specifics, and would like to talk in general terms about one thing that I feel is absolutely essential at the table for any game to run smoothly with everyone enjoying ...


20

Virtually all the groups I know of are (or would be) eager for female players. But that isn't a bad thing per se. Whether they are eager because they hope to "get a date", or because they realize female players add so much to the game experience, is subject of the group (rather, player) in question. But personally, I'd rather risk the former in an attempt ...


20

I think a lot of good thoughts have been articulated here. However I do have one thing to add. Be less weary of groups who "want a female player". I am desperate for a woman or two in my group, I have had the pleasure of gaming with women in the past and the added view point and play style is much desired by me. Especially as a GM.


96

Don't play with people who make you uncomfortable. The fundamental issue is that the group has a couple meanie-face jerkheads (feel free to insert a much more vitriolic phrase of your choosing) who everyone else is tolerating. These players are engaging in abusive, toxic behavior. This is bad in any context. Games are supposed to be fun, and playing with ...


2

Without knowing the people involved I can't go into and specific details of how to deal with them. He may think he's being funny/ironic with the "it" and "putting in their place" thing without realizing how he actually comes across. (I don't want to get your hopes up too much though, it's entirely possible he's just a gigantic ass). However there is one ...


41

...One of them calls you 'it'? This isn't a question of how to deal with difficult people, this is a warning of a potentially dangerous antisocial person, and a big tip off that they are a miserable human being. Any observed tendency to attempt to dehumanize a person for no good reason like this - and refusing a person their rightful name is a massive, ...


11

My suggestion does not relate to playing with this group. It is that you ask your DM friend to accompany you to one of the other groups that you are aware of for a few games. The people you describe sound rather opressive, and that is never a good environment to try and have fun in to begin with. The people there may be very eager to have female gamers due ...


143

You have more power than you think. Set boundaries in advance, and establish the consequences for violation. Don't be afraid to walk out if harm is occurring. Discuss your concerns before game play, and test them in a limited fashion with collaborative character creation. You assert: "I'm interested in playing with this group because I'm very close to the ...


57

The players you have described sound horrific. D&D can be a great game, but any game could be spoiled by players like these. Avoiding the game entirely, as Rylee Fowler suggests, is the safest solution. Still, if you definitely want to play this game anyway, proceed with caution. Start by speaking to the DM about your concerns. You know your DM well, so ...


175

These people are toxic. You don't need to resist them in-game, you need to leave. He makes a point of it by calling me 'it' in real life, as, according to him, my unusual name isn't really a name and as such it isn't worth addressing me by. This is just proof that you're not going to be respected at all.


8

One, from all my experiences with him, is extremely sexist and loves to put girls 'back into their place' and to let them 'know where they belong'. He makes a point of it by calling me 'it' in real life, as, according to him, my unusual name isn't really a name and as such it isn't worth addressing me by. The other I don't know well, but from ...


6

I don't play D&D, but at heart this isn't a D&D question so much as a human "real life" one (as several people pointed out). It's very similar to a ton of real-life situations with the theme: "I want to tell my friends what I think/feel, but if I do, will they just get angry, or stop being my friends". Other people have discussed how to bring this ...


6

Personally speaking, I would (and do) play with the players, not against them. If your players are playing against you in order to "win" the game, these things (having your characters "influenced" by their counterparts, either subtly or by force) do not really work. But if you are playing together on the story, you can make the players part of the story. ...


12

That spell is particularly bad for the players, as it allows the GM to essentially rewrite the PC and force the player to play what is, to him, another character entirely. You could, however, use it in a somewhat less damaging way... In movies and literature, amnesia is a common trope. Between adventures, the PCs could be enjoying some downtime and go meet ...


9

Keep it simple, keep it light, keep it fun You want to include mind-altering effects in your game? That's great, they can be a lot of fun for players and GM alike. But to use them and keep it fun for everyone can be quite tricky. Keep it simple Mind control like "You feel a strong compulsion to steal everything that isn't nailed down" or "You have an ...


20

Fundamentally, this is about learning player expectations and limits. You said it yourself, here: The problem is that I'm afraid if I so much as make an intimidate check against a player, my friends are not only going to stop being my friends, they're going to flat-out crucify me. How, as a DM, can I run a game that includes fear effects, ...



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