I am an imaginary unseen owlbear. My hobbies include growlhooing, messing about in dank caves, and being manxome. I might eat you, or I might not. That is owlbear prerogative. Take it as you will.

A note for those of you who wish to appease me with gifts: Coffee, jerky, fresh fruit, thumb tacks, environmentally friendly soap, soft snuggly things, and ear plugs. Thank you.