- Whatever conversation you wind up having about this, have it in private.
Whatever conversation you wind up having about this, have it in private.
Your other players clearly have frustrations regarding your problem player. From the sounds of things, fair enough. But if you have the conversation in front of them, it could easily turn into a dogpile as they vent those frustrations right at him, and that can only possibly end in hurt feelings. Furthermore, even if your players don’t do that, you want to avoid making him feel singled out and humiliated, as that will immediately escalate the conversation.
Maybe don’t lead with ‘you’re a troublemaker and nobody likes you’.
Again, we don’t want to put him on the defensive if we can avoid it. Instead, you may want to ease into the conversation by asking him what HE’S dissatisfied with in the game. It’s possible (but unlikely) that here’s something you can do to actually accommodate him, but either way, it should be a much more palatable conversation than if you open with a list of grievances. Give him a chance to vent, and then turn the conversation around to his behaviour.
Be polite, but firm.
Don’t respond to any provocation, and don’t get defensive or insulting, even if he does. At the same time, though, remember: what he’s doing right now isn’t fair to you or to the party. Make it clear that if his behaviour doesn’t change, you’ll have to ask him to leave.
If he won’t change, do what you have to.
There’s nothing you can do to solve this problem if he’s not willing to meet you halfway. At that point, you may not have any choice but to cut him loose.
Your other players clearly have frustrations regarding your problem player. From the sounds of things, fair enough. But if you have the conversation in front of them, it could easily turn into a dogpile as they vent those frustrations right at him, and that can only possibly end in hurt feelings. Furthermore, even if your players don’t do that, you want to avoid making him feel singled out and humiliated, as that will immediately escalate the conversation.
- Maybe don’t lead with ‘you’re a troublemaker and nobody likes you’.
Again, we don’t want to put him on the defensive if we can avoid it. Instead, you may want to ease into the conversation by asking him what HE’S dissatisfied with in the game. It’s possible (but unlikely) that here’s something you can do to actually accommodate him, but either way, it should be a much more palatable conversation than if you open with a list of grievances. Give him a chance to vent, and then turn the conversation around to his behaviour.
- Be polite, but firm.
Don’t respond to any provocation, and don’t get defensive or insulting, even if he does. At the same time, though, remember: what he’s doing right now isn’t fair to you or to the party. Make it clear that if his behaviour doesn’t change, you’ll have to ask him to leave.
- If he won’t change, do what you have to.
There’s nothing you can do to solve this problem if he’s not willing to meet you halfway. At that point, you may not have any choice but to cut him loose.
