2 corrected grammar and spelling errors, improved flow slightly
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I as a GM handle rules rather loose as well, and would probably have reacted somewhat similar like you. But over time I had some players that had similar "problems" and talked with a lot of other GMs about their groups that had similar "problems" and with that I'd recommend you to the following:

ThinksThings I'd recommend to keep in mind while thinking about it:

  • It seems that the player sees the GM as an enemy. Don't take that personal. It's unlikely to be a personal think, but probably just the way he likes to play. He sees the game as a competitive fight against the GM and with that in fight you're the enemy. And the battlefield are the rules. Thus he wants you to handle the rules strict to the book, because otherwise he'd be in an impossible fight. From your questions it's obvious that you don't see it as a fight player vs. GM, but you should respect the fact that he sees it like that. And therefore don't try to force him out of it, but convince him to come out of that position and come to a compromise.

    It seems that the player sees the GM as an enemy. Don't take that personally. It's unlikely to be a personal thing, but probably just the way he likes to play. He sees the game as a competitive fight against the GM and within that fight you're the enemy. And the battlefield are the rules. Thus he wants you to handle the rules strict to the book, because otherwise he'd be in an impossible fight. From your questions it's obvious that you don't see it as a fight, player vs. GM, but you should respect the fact that he sees it like that. Don't try to force him out of it, but convince him to come out of that position and come to a compromise.

  • You both clearly have different expectations from a game. He more like a fight. You probably more story and role play based. None of them is right or wrong. Thus don't think about what he does wrong. Cause the way he plays is not wrong! It's just different than yours. Thus you should clearly think out what you want from an evening of RPG, esp. as a GM and what he probably wants. Find the differences but find the things you have in common as well.

    You both clearly have different expectations from a game. He prefers to fight. You probably more story and role play based. None of them is right or wrong. Thus don't think about what he does as wrong. The way he plays is not wrong! It's just different than yours. Thus you should clearly think out what you want from an evening of RPG, as a GM, and compare it to what he probably wants. Find the differences but find the things you have in common as well.

  • If you know what you want and what he wants, think about what you can offer him. If rules are so important for him. Try to stick to them more strictly. Or if you bend them, clearly tell him "I bend the rules. And this is the way the rules are now...“

    If you know what you want and what he wants, think about what you can offer him. If rules are so important for hi, try to stick to them more strictly. Or if you bend them, clearly tell him "I bend the rules. And this is the way the rules are now...“

  • In All the situations you described he was on the defensive. Basically every time you told him "no, your way of playing in this is wrong". So try to talk in a situation, where you meet on an equal base and can talk without being offended. Before you start talking, he has to know, that you don't want to fight him about the rules, but want to find a way that you BOTH have more fun. Give him the feeling that you both work on a better evening of RGP, so he's willing to work on it as well.

    In all the situations you described he was on the defensive. Basically you told him "no, your way of playing in this is wrong". So try to talk in a situation, where you meet on an equal base and can talk without being offended. Before you start talking, he has to know, that you don't want to fight him about the rules, but want to find a way that you BOTH have more fun. Give him the feeling that you both work on a better evening of RPG, so he's willing to work on it as well.

  • I'm usually one of the GMs that says "I'm the god in this World and I make the rules. Live with that". Up to now that worked well. But I can't expect the players to just go with it. I might be the god, but they are not my puppets. They are the Main characters in the world and I'm to form the world around them. Thus I have to give them the role of the Main characters. I can't just tell them a great story, because it's not just about the story. I can give them the settings and the start of the story. But they write the story. They make things happen. And thus they have to be in charge of that AND know that. Esp. in a classic fantasy RPG the Player have to feel that it's their story and they live it.

    I'm usually one of the GMs that says "I'm the god in this World and I make the rules. Live with that". Up to now that worked well. But I can't expect the players to just go with it. I might be the god, but they are not my puppets. They are the Main characters in the world and I'm to form the world around them. Thus I have to give them the role of the Main characters. I can't just tell them a great story, because it's not just about the story. I can give them the settings and the start of the story. But they write the story. They make things happen. And thus they have to be in charge of that AND know that. Esp. in a classic fantasy RPG the Player have to feel that it's their story and they live it.

  • If he's so comfortable with playing D&D cause he knows so much about how it should be: Try playing a different game where he doesn't know the rules that good. Try to turn it away from a fight based on rules but turn it into a fight where he's good, cause he has good ideas or where he as to work with the other players to "win". And clearly tell him the reason you want to do so. Let him know that you want to do it to improve the fun he as in the game as wall, rather than just taking away his weapons of choice.

    If he's so comfortable with playing D&D cause he knows so much about how it should be: try playing a different game where he doesn't know the rules that good. Try to turn it away from a fight based on rules but turn it into a fight where he's good, cause he has good ideas or where he as to work with the other players to "win". And clearly tell him the reason you want to do so. Let him know that you want to do it to improve the fun he has in the game as well, rather than just taking away his weapons of choice.

In the end I learned that as a GM you can't just tell a great story and force that on the player. You have to tell THEIR great story. You have to tell THEIR great story.

I as a GM handle rules rather loose as well, and would probably reacted somewhat similar like you. But over time I had some players that had similar "problems" and talked with a lot of other GMs about their groups that had similar "problems" and with that I'd recommend you to the following:

Thinks I'd recommend to keep in mind while thinking about it:

  • It seems that the player sees the GM as an enemy. Don't take that personal. It's unlikely to be a personal think, but probably just the way he likes to play. He sees the game as a competitive fight against the GM and with that in fight you're the enemy. And the battlefield are the rules. Thus he wants you to handle the rules strict to the book, because otherwise he'd be in an impossible fight. From your questions it's obvious that you don't see it as a fight player vs. GM, but you should respect the fact that he sees it like that. And therefore don't try to force him out of it, but convince him to come out of that position and come to a compromise.
  • You both clearly have different expectations from a game. He more like a fight. You probably more story and role play based. None of them is right or wrong. Thus don't think about what he does wrong. Cause the way he plays is not wrong! It's just different than yours. Thus you should clearly think out what you want from an evening of RPG, esp. as a GM and what he probably wants. Find the differences but find the things you have in common as well.
  • If you know what you want and what he wants, think about what you can offer him. If rules are so important for him. Try to stick to them more strictly. Or if you bend them, clearly tell him "I bend the rules. And this is the way the rules are now...“
  • In All the situations you described he was on the defensive. Basically every time you told him "no, your way of playing in this is wrong". So try to talk in a situation, where you meet on an equal base and can talk without being offended. Before you start talking, he has to know, that you don't want to fight him about the rules, but want to find a way that you BOTH have more fun. Give him the feeling that you both work on a better evening of RGP, so he's willing to work on it as well.
  • I'm usually one of the GMs that says "I'm the god in this World and I make the rules. Live with that". Up to now that worked well. But I can't expect the players to just go with it. I might be the god, but they are not my puppets. They are the Main characters in the world and I'm to form the world around them. Thus I have to give them the role of the Main characters. I can't just tell them a great story, because it's not just about the story. I can give them the settings and the start of the story. But they write the story. They make things happen. And thus they have to be in charge of that AND know that. Esp. in a classic fantasy RPG the Player have to feel that it's their story and they live it.
  • If he's so comfortable with playing D&D cause he knows so much about how it should be: Try playing a different game where he doesn't know the rules that good. Try to turn it away from a fight based on rules but turn it into a fight where he's good, cause he has good ideas or where he as to work with the other players to "win". And clearly tell him the reason you want to do so. Let him know that you want to do it to improve the fun he as in the game as wall, rather than just taking away his weapons of choice.

In the end I learned that as a GM you can't just tell a great story and force that on the player. You have to tell THEIR great story.

I as a GM handle rules rather loose as well, and would probably have reacted somewhat similar like you. But over time I had some players that had similar "problems" and talked with a lot of other GMs about their groups that had similar "problems" and with that I'd recommend you to the following:

Things I'd recommend to keep in mind while thinking about it:

  • It seems that the player sees the GM as an enemy. Don't take that personally. It's unlikely to be a personal thing, but probably just the way he likes to play. He sees the game as a competitive fight against the GM and within that fight you're the enemy. And the battlefield are the rules. Thus he wants you to handle the rules strict to the book, because otherwise he'd be in an impossible fight. From your questions it's obvious that you don't see it as a fight, player vs. GM, but you should respect the fact that he sees it like that. Don't try to force him out of it, but convince him to come out of that position and come to a compromise.

  • You both clearly have different expectations from a game. He prefers to fight. You probably more story and role play based. None of them is right or wrong. Thus don't think about what he does as wrong. The way he plays is not wrong! It's just different than yours. Thus you should clearly think out what you want from an evening of RPG, as a GM, and compare it to what he probably wants. Find the differences but find the things you have in common as well.

  • If you know what you want and what he wants, think about what you can offer him. If rules are so important for hi, try to stick to them more strictly. Or if you bend them, clearly tell him "I bend the rules. And this is the way the rules are now...“

  • In all the situations you described he was on the defensive. Basically you told him "no, your way of playing in this is wrong". So try to talk in a situation, where you meet on an equal base and can talk without being offended. Before you start talking, he has to know, that you don't want to fight him about the rules, but want to find a way that you BOTH have more fun. Give him the feeling that you both work on a better evening of RPG, so he's willing to work on it as well.

  • I'm usually one of the GMs that says "I'm the god in this World and I make the rules. Live with that". Up to now that worked well. But I can't expect the players to just go with it. I might be the god, but they are not my puppets. They are the Main characters in the world and I'm to form the world around them. Thus I have to give them the role of the Main characters. I can't just tell them a great story, because it's not just about the story. I can give them the settings and the start of the story. But they write the story. They make things happen. And thus they have to be in charge of that AND know that. Esp. in a classic fantasy RPG the Player have to feel that it's their story and they live it.

  • If he's so comfortable with playing D&D cause he knows so much about how it should be: try playing a different game where he doesn't know the rules that good. Try to turn it away from a fight based on rules but turn it into a fight where he's good, cause he has good ideas or where he as to work with the other players to "win". And clearly tell him the reason you want to do so. Let him know that you want to do it to improve the fun he has in the game as well, rather than just taking away his weapons of choice.

In the end I learned that as a GM you can't just tell a great story and force that on the player. You have to tell THEIR great story.

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I as a GM handle rules rather loose as well, and would probably reacted somewhat similar like you. But over time I had some players that had similar "problems" and talked with a lot of other GMs about their groups that had similar "problems" and with that I'd recommend you to the following:

Think about the situation objectively and try to value what you as a GM want and do and what the player wants and does. And then talk to him outside of the game. As talking is the only way to find a solution that both of you can enjoy.

Thinks I'd recommend to keep in mind while thinking about it:

  • It seems that the player sees the GM as an enemy. Don't take that personal. It's unlikely to be a personal think, but probably just the way he likes to play. He sees the game as a competitive fight against the GM and with that in fight you're the enemy. And the battlefield are the rules. Thus he wants you to handle the rules strict to the book, because otherwise he'd be in an impossible fight. From your questions it's obvious that you don't see it as a fight player vs. GM, but you should respect the fact that he sees it like that. And therefore don't try to force him out of it, but convince him to come out of that position and come to a compromise.
  • You both clearly have different expectations from a game. He more like a fight. You probably more story and role play based. None of them is right or wrong. Thus don't think about what he does wrong. Cause the way he plays is not wrong! It's just different than yours. Thus you should clearly think out what you want from an evening of RPG, esp. as a GM and what he probably wants. Find the differences but find the things you have in common as well.
  • If you know what you want and what he wants, think about what you can offer him. If rules are so important for him. Try to stick to them more strictly. Or if you bend them, clearly tell him "I bend the rules. And this is the way the rules are now...“
  • In All the situations you described he was on the defensive. Basically every time you told him "no, your way of playing in this is wrong". So try to talk in a situation, where you meet on an equal base and can talk without being offended. Before you start talking, he has to know, that you don't want to fight him about the rules, but want to find a way that you BOTH have more fun. Give him the feeling that you both work on a better evening of RGP, so he's willing to work on it as well.
  • I'm usually one of the GMs that says "I'm the god in this World and I make the rules. Live with that". Up to now that worked well. But I can't expect the players to just go with it. I might be the god, but they are not my puppets. They are the Main characters in the world and I'm to form the world around them. Thus I have to give them the role of the Main characters. I can't just tell them a great story, because it's not just about the story. I can give them the settings and the start of the story. But they write the story. They make things happen. And thus they have to be in charge of that AND know that. Esp. in a classic fantasy RPG the Player have to feel that it's their story and they live it.
  • If he's so comfortable with playing D&D cause he knows so much about how it should be: Try playing a different game where he doesn't know the rules that good. Try to turn it away from a fight based on rules but turn it into a fight where he's good, cause he has good ideas or where he as to work with the other players to "win". And clearly tell him the reason you want to do so. Let him know that you want to do it to improve the fun he as in the game as wall, rather than just taking away his weapons of choice.

There is one story where I was as a Player under a GM that taught me a lot, how a GM can do it wrong. It led to a lot of trouble in our usual group when the GM started to do it more often and I as a GM myself tried to learn from it, what not to do:

We were playing Shadowrun and had a mission to do something for the Dracofoundation. A Company that mostly based in meta story you get from books and has not a lot to do with "normal" Shadowrunners. But the GM liked it and we were ok with having them as a Johnson. We just wanted to have a good run on a funny evening. But in the end it really backfired as the GM was so focused on the Dracofoundation, that we wanted it to be a major role in evening. In some situations he more or less wanted us to report to them, what happened. But we didn't want to do so. Thus he just made them notice it anyway and they contacted us like "we just notice what happened. Here is what you should to about that." In the end it turned out that a lot of the Shadowrun Meta-Story was built into the plot of the evening and the make some known names from the Dracofoundation come around as cavalry and solve the plot in the end. Couse he though they are cool and it's awesome to have them in the story. While us as player were pissed. 1) We were thrown into a story with characters that are way stronger than us and didn't felt it fitting for our characters that we even me them at our level. 2) Cause we didn't want to solve the story he wanted us to we were reduced to the sidekicks while the awesome guys solve the problem. That felt really bad and took away all the fun.

In the end I learned that as a GM you can't just tell a great story and force that on the player. You have to tell THEIR great story.

In your case: You might be really good in telling a story as a GM and have a lot fun with it. But that player might not enjoy it as a story, if the story doesn't go by the rules he expects it to.

And one last thing: Don't say "kicking him out is the last choice." It might just be that you and him as GM/Player can't work together, no matter of how good you get along otherwise. In that case it's better to remove him from the group or spilt the group up than create more upset about it.