It's a game table emulation, not a game table

As the DM, you need to both recognize and accept that it's a different game/gaming experience when played in the Roll20 (or similar) venue.

• On the one hand, the DM and the players lose the synergy and intimacy of the table top experience and the in person experience. (From a personal experiential level, this is what I miss the most). Where visual cues and subtle body language pass information at the table, this capacity is reduced in Roll20 even if you use the voice and video features. Talking over each other is actually less chaotic in person than it is over the VOIP medium.

• You gain the ability to play, as we do, across a massive geographical distance and to use some neat automated tools (I have come to love the Roll20 die roll macros and our DM's ability to use the lighting and shading features).

• What the text / "whisper" feature replaces is part of what you have lost by not being at the same table in the same town. Yes, it can be abused. Part of that is the problem of pacing, since if things slow down anyone with even modest keyboard skills can keep themselves entertained using whisper without being disruptive.

  • On the one hand, that means that various players cracking jokes and asides won't interrupt whomever has the spotlight, on the other hand the meta/information foul is easy to commit.

• While "breaking immersion" may be complained about here, the immersion when playing over that medium is different, at best, then in person, and is easily lost for a variety of reasons. (Spouses among the top causes in our case).

First step: get expectations to match

As a DM, the practical limit of what you can do is express what your preferred limits are for meta gaming up front. You either get some level of buy-in from your players, or none. If none, efforts to establish being on the same page regarding meta gaming is necessary until you come to an equitable balance of expectations: otherwise, if it concerns you that much, starting the game will be for you an exercise in frustration.

We are in this to have fun together

Once the expectations match, ask the players to help you enforce it. This means that you expect the players to nudge/mention to whomever is doing more meta than the group agreed on, not force you to be the one who has to catch it. (Heck, you are running the game, that's work enough!)

Embrace the challenge

If you try to micromanage it over the fiber-optic network, you'll fail. If you get the players to help you encourage or enforce the limit if metagaming, you'll have greater success. In that respect, it's a lot like the TT environment.

It's what our DM does and it works for us. (Our players are in: Texas, Virginia, Chicago, Illinois, Michigan(UP), California, Washington(State), New York).

It's a game table emulation, not a game table

As the DM, you need to both recognize and accept that it's a different game/gaming experience when played in the Roll20 (or similar) venue.

• The DM and the players lose the synergy and intimacy of the table top experience and the in person experience. (From a personal experiential level, this is what I miss the most). Where visual cues and subtle body language pass information at the table, this capacity is reduced in Roll20 even if you use the voice and video features. (Talking over each other is actually less chaotic in person than it is over the VOIP medium).

• You gain the ability to play, as we do, across a massive geographical distance and to use some neat automated tools (I have come to love the Roll20 die roll macros and our DM's ability to use the lighting and shading features).

• What the text / "whisper" feature replaces is part of what you have lost by not being at the same table in the same town. Yes, it can be abused. Part of that is the problem of pacing, since if things slow down anyone with even modest keyboard skills can keep themselves entertained using whisper without being disruptive.

  • On the one hand, that means that various players cracking jokes and asides won't interrupt whomever has the spotlight, on the other hand the meta/information foul is easy to commit.

• While "breaking immersion" may be complained about here, the immersion when playing over that medium is different, at best, then in person, and is easily lost for a variety of reasons. (Spouses among the top causes in our case).

First step: get expectations to match

As a DM, the practical limit of what you can do is express what your preferred limits are for meta gaming up front. You either get some level of buy-in from your players, or none. If the initial result is "none," it is necessary to expend the effort to get on the same page regarding meta gaming. Unless you come to an equitable balance of expectations, as a group, starting the game will be for you an exercise in frustration.

We are in this to have fun together

Once the expectations match, ask the players to help you enforce it. This means that you expect the players to nudge/mention that "too meta" has occurred to whomever is doing more meta than the group agreed on. Don't be stuck in the position that you are the only one who has to be alert for and catch it. (Heck, you are running the game, that's work enough!)

Embrace the challenge

If you try to micromanage it over the fiber-optic network, you'll fail. If you get the players to help you encourage or enforce the limit if metagaming, you'll have greater success. In that respect, getting the group to buy in, it's a lot like the TT environment.

It's what our DM does and it works for us. (Our players are in: Texas, Virginia, Chicago, Illinois, Michigan(UP), California, Washington(State), New York).