Some of my friends want to play D&D5e. I really don't want to be excluded from playing, because at the moment, I feel enough of an outsider, but no matter how hard I try I can't make a decent gishy character at 1st level.
I've tried asking if they'd play something else instead - but the only response I've gotten is "You don't have to play" which really hurts.
We're still at character creation, and no one has confirmed to DM for us. I pretty much only like playing Gish characters, which with Pathfinder I could just use the Magus class and be happy but I'm finding it impossible to make such a character at first level in 5e.
I tried making a Half-Elf Bladesinger, but there doesn't seem to be any way to start the game at first level with that character being effective in combat due to missing weapon proficiencied until second level.
I don't know how to resolve this as it feels like I'm being shut out of the hobby I love by the existence of one particular game destroying the games I can actually play - I feel like I've suggested dozens, but people only want to play fifth edition - and I don't know what to do.
It feels like D&D5e is taking my friends and my hobby from me and it's only making me even more resentful of the system. I don't know what I can do about this. I feel like I've ernestly put in a lot of effort trying to give the system a fair shake but with each attempt to make a character I just feel utterly burned out and just don't see what everyone else likes about it but if they played without me it would leave me more isolated than I already feel and dig me deeper into depression.
How do I make my friends understand how they're hurting me and get them to play a game I can actually join in with?