So, I was pretty new to DnD when this issue first occurred. We were playing in a large group, and we are all friends, having fun, joking around, etc. When I first joined, I wanted to play a warlock. The issue is, we had a very stubborn Cleric of Helm in our party. I went ahead and played my warlock. My warlock made a pact with a powerful fiend. When my character got introduced, she got bullied non-stop by the cleric, one of the most invested players in the game. Most of the party joined in, simply because they couldn't come up with any better idea. I was able to deal with that. The DM even gifted us XP for playing in character. But then, when opportunity for payback came, and my warlock released a powerful AOE attack, she got ceremoniously killed by the party afterwards. Now I'm a lot more experienced, but I'm still burning with rage whenever I think of it.

Here's where my issue comes in. I got a new character, a more pious one. He is also quick to judge people's actions and dish out appropriate punishment. The same cleric who killed my warlock is getting a fancy feature thanks to some homebrewed curse, and my character should remove it. But I was warned in advance that most of the party are plotting to kill my character if I do anything out of line. How should I handle the situation? I have yet to speak to the DM about this.

  • 3
    \$\begingroup\$ Was the powerful AoE aimed at the party? And is the curse good, bad, or mixed? \$\endgroup\$
    – user17995
    Jan 3, 2018 at 3:43
  • 6
    \$\begingroup\$ How open is your group about pvp? Because the feeling I get from your question is that it is something that occurred naturally and that there is rising tension in the group. \$\endgroup\$
    – 3C273
    Jan 3, 2018 at 4:09
  • \$\begingroup\$ Frankly, I'd leave that group entirely. Life is too short for such treatment, and if these players are treating you this way as a person then you need a new group. Also examine why the loss of a PC angers you so much. The important thing is how you as a person were and are being treated. This smells of toxicity to me. I'd bow out before it gets worse and find new players to play with who won't unreasonably gang up on you. Just tell them "Look, this isn't fun for me, and I'm bowing out of the game. No harm no foul, it's just not what I want right now" and leave it at that. \$\endgroup\$
    – user47897
    Oct 12, 2018 at 14:39

2 Answers 2


Last time around, you tried to resolve this conflict in-character, and the outcome left you "burning with rage". I would take this as a big clue that in-character is not the best way to resolve this sort of thing. You'd be much better off talking to the group (not just the DM) out of character about what play styles people want/expect, including how they feel about intra-party conflict.

Me, I don't enjoy serious intra-party conflict in D&D-type games. A bit of banter is fine, but having other PCs steal from mine or attack mine is not what I'm there for. (I love PvP in strategy games! I just don't want to mix it with RPGs.)

That's just my preference, mind. It's a common attitude but not everybody feels the same way; some people love intra-party conflict, and that's valid too. But if we're playing in the same group, then we need to figure out something that everybody can live with. Maybe I can deal with a PvP mindset if I know from the start that that's what I'm signing up for. Maybe they can enjoy a non-PvP game. Maybe we can agree on in-character argument but not violence.

Maybe we can't find a play style that everybody will enjoy, and then we're better off just splitting the group and not ruining friendships over it.

When those conversations don't happen, you get the sort of thing that just happened in your game. Everybody falls back on "well this is what my character would do" and since the average RPG party tends to have a diverse mix of characters who each have different values and motivations, the end result is a big ball of No Fun for at least some of the players.

IMHO, the best way to counteract this is to start with all players conscious that everybody is there to have fun, and that players are responsible for making things fun for one another. Where you have a difference in play style - as you obviously do here - that means talking it out, out of character.

Once you've agreed OOC on what sort of game you want to play, then you can look for in-character ways to make that happen - which will then be much easier because you're all collaborating towards the same goal, not working against one another.

Your buddy wants to play a cleric of Helm, and you want to play a warlock of B'alüst'radé The Bloodshedder? There are so many ways to make that work, if you and the DM and the other player all want it to work. A few examples...

  • The cleric's higher-ups have ordered him to leave the warlock alone - as long as the warlock behaves herself - because some ancient prophecy says this is the only way to defeat a greater evil.

  • The warlock reminds the cleric of his kid sister, and he's determined to redeem her by showing a good example, rather than just being a jerk or trying to murder her.

  • The warlock tricked the cleric into swearing an oath that prevents him from acting against her, as long as she behaves acceptably.

  • The warlock has deceived the cleric about her loyalties, and is masquerading as something more acceptable to his sensibilities.

etc. etc. Not only do those provide an excuse that allows the two of you to play nicely together - assuming that's what the players want to achieve - but they also offer plenty of juicy story hooks for the DM to exploit.


What I keyed in on is the mention that the party is plotting. With that in the dynamic I offer my answer from the PoV of a DM running a game where one of the players is a target but the PCs are getting along fairly well.

If these players are friends of yours, talk to them and figure out the problem. If they are not friends, it may be time to find a new group.

I assume the DM is the one who warned you. It's the DM's responsibility to get the party working, and sometimes that means telling a group to cut the crap. If the DM hasn't done that it's because it's a group of friends who can communicate OOC, or it's a new player getting bullied in-game and he doesn't want to risk his friends by stepping in.

That's what I see here. Either way, a bit of OOC conversation can resolve it either (a) by making it stop or (b) by finding out that its not a group for you.

  • \$\begingroup\$ Please review the edit to make sure that while working on a bit of format I did not obscure your meaning or make less clear your proposed solution to the problem. Edit again if necessary. \$\endgroup\$ Jan 3, 2018 at 19:11

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