Bear with me this situation is a mess.
I'm relatively new to D&D and recently found a group to play with. The group meets one a week but plays two different games, one game one week and another game the next. In one game one of the players (lets say J) likes to steal at any point he can be it from markets, dungeons, or the party. In general he tends to act like a dick, with rather abusive behavior toward NPCs and even tried to get the party to attack helpful NPC because he thought he could get more money. When we have discussed with him that his alignment is Neutral and he's acting more in the way of a CE character he says that "Evil" is a relative term and that he's acting like his character would.
I've done a bit of reading and thinking on the subject and I think it would be a good idea to discuss this with the DM, this is where I run into a rather sticky wicket: J also DMs our second games. J tends to manipulate the party, likes to with-hold information so the party gets lost, makes almost all dice rolls difficult, and even puts the party in near constant combat. I've asked the other players about this but they don't really seem to notice.
I'm at a loss at what to do here, is there a good way to deal with J's behavior in the first game that wouldn't incur his wrath in the second? I know it's a hard question to answer as there is no way to know the outcome, but at this point I need all the advice I can get.