So my players and I have a group chat where we can all talk. This past week one of the players has been non stop trying to make me mad in the chat involving D&D mechanics and stuff like that.

He was saying "I can do this and that" and I said "no" so he said "bet". I told him to stop, but he didn’t stop. He also got mad that next campaign I am adding in some new rules to our group and changing how we play because, in this campaign, we don’t use some 5E rules. After I told them what we were changing he started to insult me and how I DM. I gave him many warnings to stop.

I gave him many warnings to stop everything he was saying or he will regret it and even maybe for the whole group. He did not stop at all. He just kept going and going. Other players were telling him to stop too, but he didn’t listen to them either. So I left the group chat, and one of the other players made a group chat without that player in it. (He has tested me like this once before, but he has never gone this far)

We have a session in a week and I was wondering what I should do about this? Do I ban him from one session, just talk to him and try to settle whatever is going on with him, or cancel the next session until we can fix everything? I honestly don’t know what to do because of how bad the messages were in chat, and also because I told him to stop and he didn’t listen more than once.

  • \$\begingroup\$ Can you give examples of the kind of thing the player has been saying? What do you mean by 'testing you'? \$\endgroup\$ – Wibbs Aug 19 '18 at 15:02
  • \$\begingroup\$ For example, are they arguing about rules decision you've made? Are they generally just being insulting? etc \$\endgroup\$ – Wibbs Aug 19 '18 at 15:04
  • \$\begingroup\$ Hi, Dakota and welcome to RPG.se! This site is a bit different to other sites, so please take the tour (you get a badge for doing it, too). Check out our help center for more information. \$\endgroup\$ – Marq Aug 19 '18 at 15:05
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    \$\begingroup\$ It sounds like your problem isn’t specific to 5th Edition D&D, so you might want to remove that tag from your question. It also sounds like this isn’t really specific to RPGs; while some folks here might have good advice, you may also want to ask on the interpersonal skills Stack Exchange site as well. \$\endgroup\$ – Marq Aug 19 '18 at 15:12
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    \$\begingroup\$ This is pretty vague and rambling. All I really get out of it is the guy was a pain to you in some unspecified ways. So what should you do? Well, all the options are pretty obvious (you state them) and I'm not sure how we can pick a non-opinion-based option for you. Perhaps with some clearer details, but this may just be a decision you have to make. \$\endgroup\$ – mxyzplk - SE stop being evil Aug 19 '18 at 16:28

Discuss kicking him out of the group.

You've talked to him, the other members have talked to him. In a lot of games it's normal to have some rules discussions, but if he's being blatantly rude and insulting you should remove him. He's being difficult, and that shouldn't be tolerated.

From what you said though, the other players are annoyed by his behaviour. The main important thing is having fun. So talk to the other players and ask them if they want to play with him more. If everyone agrees on a course of action, it'll be a lot easier.

The main goal is for everyone to have fun.

His behaviour is hurting your fun and other's fun. He's being rude, and is refusing to stop even as you and others call him out. He may have different expectations of the game- that you adhere strictly to core, or DM in a strict way. That's his choice. That's no excuse for being rude.

You have three options. You change, he changes, or one of you leaves.

  1. You could change your campaign, DM style to fit his needs. He can have more fun, and you less.

  2. He could change his style, and be less argumentative. He refused to do this, and would likely find the game less fun.

  3. You could leave the campaign, or he could.

Since he's being actively rude and harsh, you changing or him changing is unlikely. As such, the best option is likely you kicking him out. But, discuss this with everyone else. That way, they know that they're not going to be randomly dropped as well.


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