I have a very strange party of players. It's not their characters, but my friends themselves.
They seem to want the Hobbit but with no deaths, lots of XP at level 1, weak and slow zombies, and relationships. It's D&D, and my friend wants to go out with my other friend.
I plan to run a game with many battles, many losses, ships, bosses, and OP sorcerers.
Please, tell me what I should do to make them happy, yet not add CSI, soap opera elements, or Rambo to the mix.