I'm playing a barbarian with a small party. My character's backstory was completely ruined because the caster decided to use charm on me when wanted posters that looked slightly like my character showed up, forcing me to explain that he was an heir to a tyrannical kingdom near by.

So it ruined that plot thing for me, and the caster told everyone despite another player's backstory being open and LOOKING for the bounty in question.

Fastforward past RP piece, the party doesn't trust my character anymore. The healer won't heal me because of said conflict, and every time I disagree with the drow caster trying to enslave people I get charmed. I'm about one session away from killing them in their sleep.

I talked to the DM who is their friend and he told me to "deal with it".

What I'm asking is what should I do just go crazy and lop off heads or leave the game I've tried talking with both the Dm and player about this and they don't care the DM was the one forcing me to expunge info about the bounty card which only looks about 60% like my character.

And below idk how to respond to things but the reason my character is ruined is because they are looking for people to turn me into to get the 2000 gold reward.

  • \$\begingroup\$ Welcome to Rpg.SE! Please take a look at the tour, it's a useful introduction to the site. What would be your ideal resolution? \$\endgroup\$
    – Luris
    Commented Mar 20, 2019 at 7:57
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    \$\begingroup\$ A bit late for that, I know, but I would like to add that charm in itself does not work that way in 5e. To actually force someone to do something like that you need at least dominate person, but the party does not seem like lv9+ to me (I might be wrong). \$\endgroup\$
    – Szega
    Commented Mar 20, 2019 at 8:31
  • \$\begingroup\$ Not just 5e. Offhand, I can't think of any D&D edition where Charm is a general-purpose mind-control spell. It's typically something more like "you think the caster is your best friend", and very few people would publicly announce their deepest secrets or change their views on slavery simply because their best friend asked them to. \$\endgroup\$ Commented Mar 20, 2019 at 11:21
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    \$\begingroup\$ The PHB states that the creature that was charmed knows it was charmed once the spell ends. How was this aspect of the spell handled by your PC and/or the DM? \$\endgroup\$ Commented Mar 20, 2019 at 11:31
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    \$\begingroup\$ This question is missing a question, and is acting as a discussion starter and inviting soapboxing and opinions. Please detail what specific outcome you want or actions you want to take and request our assistance with whatever part has you stuck. \$\endgroup\$ Commented Mar 20, 2019 at 11:39

3 Answers 3


If you are not enjoying the game, stop playing.

On the surface this seems like some bullying enabled by the DM. It may not be though, and the DM and players simply like a bit of player-vs-player intrigue. They may even be OK with the idea that the barbarian attacks and kills their characters. Or, if inexperienced, they won't be sure what they are doing, just going for what "seems fun" in a chaotic manner, and without much thought as to whether everyone involved is actually having fun. In which case they will probably take the barbarian killing their characters badly.

Having seen similar scenarios play out when I played at school, and in younger groups, I would advise against having your character attempt to kill the others. That could turn out even messier, and is much like someone being verbally bullied unable to respond in kind and turning to violence.

Instead the mature responses might be:

  • Before the next session, or in-between sessions, with the whole group present (and not just complaining to the DM), just ask an open-ended question. Something like "What is going on with the attacks on my character? I don't have any idea how to respond in the game, and I am not enjoying it. What would you like my character to do? What would you like me to do?". Let them explain how the game is supposed to be enjoyable this way.

  • Ask for a retro-active "session zero" where the style of game and what is allowed interactions between player characters can be discussed openly, and you can make your case for not having player characters use mind-affecting magic on each other, because it is not fun for you playing a character without access to such magic.

  • Stop playing. Find another group if you can.

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    \$\begingroup\$ Quite often the only winning move is not to play. No D&D is better than bad D&D. \$\endgroup\$
    – Josh
    Commented Mar 20, 2019 at 8:13
  • \$\begingroup\$ +1 for excellent answer. Could you consider adding, for future reference, some treatment on building character backgrounds together (during session zero or similar), to prevent problems like this in advance? \$\endgroup\$
    – kviiri
    Commented Mar 20, 2019 at 8:16

The problems here go beyond charm person, or the PvP. The problem is that you've reached the stage where sane characters would have no reason to work with each other but are forced to by virtue of being PCs.

Taking your description at face value, it sounds like this may be a toxic group. I'm going to chalk that up to frustration however and answer assuming you're playing with mature, reasonable people. If not, have your character slit everyone other character's throat at night then find a better group.

When you make a character with a dark secret backstory, you should expect it to be revealed at some point. The fact that you consider it "ruined" because other players found out is a little odd: did you want it to remain unknown for the entire campaign? It may as well not exist.

Your GM likely included the posters as a potential plot hook. If you had been honest about being heir to a kingdom, I can think of a dozen potential plots (for an evil party, assassinating the king and putting you on the throne is the most obvious).

Resorting to Charm Person was a bit much but it depends on the group. You hint that you're the new player in an established group here- PvP may be the norm. The issue though, is you have a completely dysfunctional party. Your character is a liar and a wanted criminal who could be more trouble than they're worth.

At this point, your options depend on how you are to your character, and whether this is an IC problem (the party infighting) or an OC problem (players bullying you):

  • Treat this as an IC problem, solve it with an IC discussion. Have your character be open about their background, and what the next steps are. Try to link it to the party benefitting from it
  • Treat this as an IC problem, solve it with a new character. If the problem is that your character and the party can't work together, thanks to your history and disagreements, it might be time to accept that and re-roll. Generate a new character who will work more cohesively with the party.
  • Treat this as an OC problem and discuss it with the other players. This may lead to one of the other options; it may be the case that you're better off leaving and finding a better group.

As Neil very eloquently pointed out, the sensible thing is to resolve the conflict rather than escalate it.

I like to think that no one gets into role playing to fuel animosities, or to watch someone else play with their character through command mechanics.

A home-brew rule that I am particularly fond of is removing all "You lose control of your character"-esque mechanics from PvP interactions. How far you want to take this or what you want to label under that category is up to your troupe, and that is the purpose of having a "session zero".

If you are not familiar with the concept, a session zero is where boundaries of play and scope of the campaign should be established. It's the perfect environment to discuss what you want and don't want to encounter at the table!

The final thing I want to add that while a session zero is traditionally held before the first session ( as the name suggests ), it does not hurt to have it a bit later.

Happy role playing!


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