Note: This is about a social dynamic, and is loosely related to gameplay. If you want to answer the question, keep this in mind. Or maybe it is gameplay; it could have something to do with how I'm playing my character.

I'll start with a few things to preface this. To start, I go to a D&D group for (high functioning) people with autism. I am one such person. As a whole, in one way or another, they have some form of a problem with socialization; even among the more normal ones, such as not talking much, or not being able to express their frustrations, or simply not being able to read a room. Being in this group, I too have autism. And I tend to think people are upset at me when they aren't. As such, I will attempt to use the least of my personal bias in this.

To go more on the question; I'm wondering if I'm disliked here. The group is fairly normal; you meet up for dnd with a few other people, in a room that isn't rented out. I'm gonna give all of them fake names, so there are five people (other then me obviously) in the group.

First, there's Leaf. Leaf is the DM. Leaf hosts mainly scripted dungeons but occasionally will manipulate them based on how the players are acting, or "improv". I.E. a Tomb of Annihilation game that focuses on both the lich and goblin politics. But, he doesn't like "crosstalk" or just talking, in our group, as it distracts from the session. He also doesn't allow certain gameplay features like feats, but that isn't too important.

Then we have Bob. Bob is nice, and we hung out once at each other's house. He didn't really have a plan for when we did so it was an awkward couple of hours waiting to go home n walking n junk, because he didn't tell me to bring anything so we couldn't do anything together. Second one was more fun, we both brought our DSes and played. But I get mixed signals from him, as whenever I join into a crosstalk conversation he's having, he shushes me loudly. He's also one of the many people that hates how my character... is.

The other three I'm not as close to, and this is getting kind of long, so I'm gonna call them Legion. Two of legion are pretty close, and the other legion occasionally gets into fights with the DM. Usually, Legion is the one that starts the crosstalk, or is talking with itself.

As for the problem, as stated prior, Bob will shush me if I talk and get upset at what my character does. For instance, I was asking questions to a townsperson about... where we were, because we got teleported somewhere random, and then they told me it was dumb. I didn't know that something magic wasn't fairy related, but when I rolled to check if it was, everyone got upset at me and told me to stop. And if I do nothing, I don't join in conversations or roleplay, no-one gets upset at me.

Does this mean no-one wants me there?

  • 1
    \$\begingroup\$ Welcome to RPG.SE! Take the tour if you haven't already, and check out the help center for more guidance. \$\endgroup\$
    – V2Blast
    Commented Apr 1, 2019 at 22:13
  • 2
    \$\begingroup\$ I'm sorry that this happens to you. Unfortunately, we don't know your friends. We can't tell whether they like you or not. This question is put on hold because we can't answer that for you. If you'd like to ask another question, we'd be glad to help you! \$\endgroup\$
    – Vylix
    Commented Apr 2, 2019 at 4:19

1 Answer 1


It is good that you are getting out of your comfort zone and making friends. However, because this gaming group seems to have a lot of folks who have their own problems, they might get angry or hostile, and maybe that is not your fault. Maybe they have their own problems and they are too tired to be nice to anyone. Gaming groups break up for various reasons and if this group does not end up working out for you, you should keep an optimistic attitude.

If this gaming group turns out to be okay, then you can celebrate. But if this gaming group turns out to be impractical, that's okay too. I encourage you to have friends outside of gaming.

In my case, when I was feeling lonely, I hung out with several different groups of people that did not overlap. The girl I was chasing was in my "peer friends" group, the people I did volunteer work with were in my "elderly community" group, my gaming friends were in my "gamer group." I ended up leaving that gamer group but I still had other contacts with the community. I was very sad that I didn't have any geeky friends that I could share gaming enthusiasm with, but I was not totally isolated.

  • \$\begingroup\$ Welcome to RPG.SE! Take the tour if you haven't already, and check out the help center for more guidance. \$\endgroup\$
    – V2Blast
    Commented Apr 2, 2019 at 5:34

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