I have been running VtM in the form of the players playing as ghouls however one of my recent players has made a charmer character. I am okay with characters wanting to get laid however he considers these things to be fluff and says that he believes the flirting part is important for character development. He does not insist on roleplaying the sex part however he does wish to roleplay how he showers his love interest with kisses and most of his interactions with NPC's involve similar things.

He seems rather invested in the game so I don't want to just tell him to stop or tell him that we will be glossing over the flirting but I am starting to feel uncomfortable having to play these NPC's. It's been about two weeks since he joined and he has slept with his fellow ghoul, a prostitute and he attempted to sleep with his domitor each involving a fair bit of flirting. (As a note. I have been running him private sessions to catch him up to the group both immersion and experience vice.)

So my question is that how can I make him dial this type of stuff back without seeming judgmental or like I am telling him to change his character?

  • \$\begingroup\$ Did you run a session zero and discuss whether romantic roleplay was something you were comfortable with at the table? \$\endgroup\$
    – NotArch
    Feb 13, 2020 at 15:15
  • \$\begingroup\$ Well while we did have a session 0 he joined the group later. Also normally I do not mind romantic roleplays. I just need him to dial things back a bit as it is getting out of control. \$\endgroup\$ Feb 13, 2020 at 15:17
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    \$\begingroup\$ I don't understand "how can I tell him?" so please explain this: what is your problem with simply telling this player that this level of detail makes you uncomfortable? Why can't you do that? (There may be an interpersonal dynamic here that I am misunderstanding, or that you have not yet shared in your description of the problem) \$\endgroup\$ Feb 13, 2020 at 15:38
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    \$\begingroup\$ Has one of his potential love interests knifed him for unwanted advances? Because "showering with kisses" is not going to be universally appreciated. \$\endgroup\$ Feb 13, 2020 at 23:22
  • \$\begingroup\$ cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/420785761106001930/… \$\endgroup\$
    – CrimRei
    Mar 23, 2020 at 23:04

1 Answer 1


Fun First

Table Top RPGs are games and everyone playing them are supposed to have fun. If this players actions are causing you to have less fun than you were having previously you need to have a talk with them. If this type of play makes you uncomfortable you should say so. It's not about being judgmental because all sorts of things one person is comfortable with another may not be. Be clear as to what exactly is making you uncomfortable so there is no confusion.

Dial back

The first option to actually solving the problem is to ask them to dial it back. All this requires is for them to change the amount of time they spend on descriptions. Instead of "I kiss them here and here and[...]" they can say "I shower them with kisses, do all that romantic stuff".


(If you don't know what lines and veils are you can find a previous answer here)

This is kind of similar to dialing back but involves even less talking. You can draw a line and say "I won't act out these romantic scenes with you, it's uncomfortable for me". If your player is your friend they will respect the line and not cross it. If you're more comfortable with some romance you can make it a veil that would go something like "As you commence the romance make a persuasion check (or whatever the VtM equivalent is). [assuming a high number]: We fade to black and you and your partner have a good time."

The Solution I hope isn't used

If your player disrespects you and crosses your lines or ignores the veil or tries to push past the point of comfort for you they're not your friend. They're actively doing something they know you don't like and that is unacceptable. Remove them from the group. They've proven they don't care about you enough to respect your boundaries and you should not stand for that.


Just have a conversation about what is and isn't comfortable for you both. you should be able to reach a resolution that doesn't feel like you taking aspects away from his character as well as everyone can have as much fun as possible.

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    \$\begingroup\$ Good points, but OP plays VtM (stated in text), which is Vampire the Masquerade, not D&D, and a much much more storytelling driven system. It's even CALLED Storyteller/Storytelling system! \$\endgroup\$
    – Trish
    Feb 13, 2020 at 15:46
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    \$\begingroup\$ @Trish Sure, but that doesn't mean you have to endure uncomfortable things for the sake of story. Many movies and TV shows imply sex or torture without actually showing it. \$\endgroup\$ Feb 13, 2020 at 15:49
  • \$\begingroup\$ @Trish other than that single word this is a perfect answer \$\endgroup\$
    – WendyG
    Feb 13, 2020 at 16:00

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