How can I tell a player to stop something without seeming like I'm restricting them too much?

Question

I have been running VtM in the form of the players playing as ghouls however one of my recent players has made a charmer character. I am okay with characters wanting to get laid however he considers these things to be fluff and says that he believes the flirting part is important for character development. He does not insist on roleplaying the sex part however he does wish to roleplay how he showers his love interest with kisses and most of his interactions with NPC's involve similar things.

He seems rather invested in the game so I don't want to just tell him to stop or tell him that we will be glossing over the flirting but I am starting to feel uncomfortable having to play these NPC's. It's been about two weeks since he joined and he has slept with his fellow ghoul, a prostitute and he attempted to sleep with his domitor each involving a fair bit of flirting. (As a note. I have been running him private sessions to catch him up to the group both immersion and experience vice.)

So my question is that how can I make him dial this type of stuff back without seeming judgmental or like I am telling him to change his character?

Answer 1

Fun First

Table Top RPGs are games and everyone playing them are supposed to have fun. If this players actions are causing you to have less fun than you were having previously you need to have a talk with them. If this type of play makes you uncomfortable you should say so. It's not about being judgmental because all sorts of things one person is comfortable with another may not be. Be clear as to what exactly is making you uncomfortable so there is no confusion.

Dial back

The first option to actually solving the problem is to ask them to dial it back. All this requires is for them to change the amount of time they spend on descriptions. Instead of "I kiss them here and here and[...]" they can say "I shower them with kisses, do all that romantic stuff".

Lines/Veils

(If you don't know what lines and veils are you can find a previous answer here)

This is kind of similar to dialing back but involves even less talking. You can draw a line and say "I won't act out these romantic scenes with you, it's uncomfortable for me". If your player is your friend they will respect the line and not cross it. If you're more comfortable with some romance you can make it a veil that would go something like "As you commence the romance make a persuasion check (or whatever the VtM equivalent is). [assuming a high number]: We fade to black and you and your partner have a good time."

The Solution I hope isn't used

If your player disrespects you and crosses your lines or ignores the veil or tries to push past the point of comfort for you they're not your friend. They're actively doing something they know you don't like and that is unacceptable. Remove them from the group. They've proven they don't care about you enough to respect your boundaries and you should not stand for that.

TL;DR

Just have a conversation about what is and isn't comfortable for you both. you should be able to reach a resolution that doesn't feel like you taking aspects away from his character as well as everyone can have as much fun as possible.