Well, long story short I recently joined a newly opened living world server for Mage the Ascension, though the system itself feels a bit irrelevant as when this happened the roleplay hadn't started yet. Regardless, I called my girlfriend to the server as well, and we occasionally flirted a bit. I made jokes about nibbling her neck when vampire blood was mentioned.
Then I was told that I had gone too far, especially with that nibble thing, and there would be a kick if I didn't cool it as it was supposed to be a 16+ server, so teens could be there (this felt weird to me as it was in a world where vampires were a common thing, and one player had been constantly talking about blood). Then it was added that me calling in friends to create a thing of our own was also a bad thing to do. I said sorry and stated that I wouldn't do that again and went to bed. When I woke up, me and everyone I invited was banned.
I am aware that this sounds like I am criticizing them for being intolerant, though this is not the case. The people there already knew each other, and I believe that there was a cognitive dissonance between me/my friends and the group. What I considered to be NSFW and acceptable was not the same as them. But there were no corrections because they felt I was doing it despite it being a bad thing, while I simply didn't think it was something bad.
Now what I am trying to ask is that how can I determine what topics they have as taboo or NSFW while what topics are open game?
To add to the things I tried
I looked at the listed rules were no help in that regard as they simply said 'No metagaming,No NSFW stuff and obeying the character creation rules and the lore. ' which do not clarify things for me as our perceptions differ on what they mean.
For example in my perspective flirting and slightly perverted jokes is okay. Making out is getting close to the NSFW zone and roleplaying getting naked is NSFW.
Just to clarify. I am not asking why I was banned or how they could have perceived it. I am asking how could I learn how they perceived it before it was too late.