I am playing in a D&D campaign and there's two main problems I have:

  1. My character's personality is very bard-like, but I didn't know what bards were so now another PC is filling that role and I feel useless as a rogue.
  2. There are two PCs who have been very open from the get go and have immediately formed close connections with NPCs and such. Because of that, they've become the center of attention - one time the dm even said that we could do whatever and another PC even said "I don't know, I don't have connections like everyone else,".

I know that I need to talk to my friends about this, but I'm scared about this blowing up into something (these are my only friends, we've had conflicts like this in the past but we were WAY younger). And I know that we're more mature and we can probably work things out, but I'm still terrified of doing this and don't even know how to go about this.

  • 5
    \$\begingroup\$ Does "some of the PCs" specifically refer to your PC? Because in that case, it might be better to just make the title "How do I tell my friends that I'm feeling left out?". The answers might help you more. \$\endgroup\$
    – Erik
    Mar 29, 2020 at 21:23
  • 2
    \$\begingroup\$ Hi Gab, welcome to rpg.se! Take the tour and visit the help center or ask here in comments (use @ to ping someone) for more information. I'm sorry you are having a negative experience in what should be an enjoyable hobby. \$\endgroup\$
    – linksassin
    Mar 29, 2020 at 23:56
  • 2
    \$\begingroup\$ I think you might actually benefit from splitting this question into two. One focusing on the overlap between your rogue and the bard and this one focus on the lack of attention to some characters. I say this because they are kind of separate issues and this Q&A format is best suited at dealing with a single issue per post. \$\endgroup\$
    – linksassin
    Mar 29, 2020 at 23:57
  • \$\begingroup\$ Oh and to make sure you see it: you should complete registration and then go through the process of getting your accounts merged so that you (re)gain ownership of the question and can add to it. \$\endgroup\$
    – Someone_Evil
    Apr 5, 2020 at 1:11

2 Answers 2


As always in situations like this, you're going to have to talk to someone, possibly everyone, at some point.

But, given your concerns about the players, start with the DM. They have the ability to switch things up and start addressing the issues, even without the other players knowing.

It's the role of the DM to make sure everything is balanced between the players and the fact that you, and by the sound of it, others, are feeling this way is an indication that they haven't noticed or think everyone is happy with the current arrangement.

This is anecdotal but in my game I try to ensure everyone has their own sources and contacts in the story. It means everyone feels involved and gets their moment to shine, bring in useful information and take the helm for a bit. The rogue has a secret organisation, one has a sailor background and so is useful in port towns, the others have their back story elements crop up to provide NPCs exclusive to them. It seems to work well.

So, talk to them privately to begin with and explain the issue from the point of view of the marginalised players. Suggest options and things you would be happy with - it's easy to point to a problem but harder to offer solutions but by doing this you're showing the DM you've put some thought into it and aren't just dumping a problem on them. Stress how you feel about a potential argument among the group so they know how you feel.


With regards to the second part of the question: There are limitless characters in a fantasy world, and just because other PC's took up the ones presented directly from the GM, that doesn't mean you can't work with the GM in order to create more NPC's that fit more with who your character would be in contact with.

If the player's have free reign in the city to do things, and the player wants to meet with connections, but doesn't have any, it's the perfect time to make some! Ideally, work with the GM beforehand so they can be at least somewhat prepared for the kinds of connections the character wants (e.g. hang out at seedy bars hoping to find some criminal contacts, get into high class parties and mingle with nobles, do odd jobs for merchants to curry favor, etc.). And those breaks are the perfect times to do small scenes to establish the relationship.

Alternatively, work with the GM to add to your backstory. In all my experience, if someone talks to the GM and says "I don't feel like my character is connected enough to the story, could I tweak my backstory so that I have some relation to [insert faction here]?", the GM would love to work with you in order to make sure you're happy with your character. There's nothing a GM loves more than a player who comes up with interesting character ideas, and wants to tie that into the world they've built.

At its core, Dungeons and Dragons is a collaborative game, and the more the players and GM put into it, the more they'll get out of it. When a player doesn't want to make connections with the NPC's the GM created as part of the story, and then says things like "I don't know, I don't have connections like everyone else" it makes it seem like the player isn't putting much into the game, but is expecting the GM to spend lots of time to cater the content to them individually. The other players' characters either fit into the world well enough, or they adapted their characters to do so, while the others are waiting for the world to adapt to their characters, when they could instead be


You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .