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WARNING: The content of this question is potentially disturbing and contains references to animal abuse

I remember reading a homebrew class some time ago (within a few years) that has been based on various crab memes like "this kills the crab" represented as something along the lines of "this kills the human", or an ability to wield a melee weapon like a crab from this video, though I am not sure that the latter was actually there.

  • Every few levels, the crab would choose one ability from a list, and a new list of abilities was given. One of the abilities, for sure, was an ability to steal a dead creature's natural armor bonus like a hermit crab.
  • Other abilities gave the crab's claws various enhancement bonuses, gave the crab itself increased speed and/or natural armor, etc.
  • Some abilities of that class were based on a Monstrous Crab, notorious for being largely under-CRed.
  • It was published on a site with a comment section where many improvements were suggested for the author's concept.

I found it long ago when googling for crab jokes, but I can't find it now, and I've been trying for at least a few months.

What was this homebrew crab class, and where can it be found?

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Maybe this one: Awakened Monstrous Crab

It seems to match your description. The Awakened Monstrous Crab gradually increases its STR and CON score while it advances in level and it can chose from an array of different class features or feats. The Hermit Crab ability you described also exists, it can be chosen at level 4.

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