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I was apart of a discord RP group, but I recently left after this incident. To give some background, I was being repeatedly belittled out of character by other members, and was being made to walk on egg shells around everyone. I was already a bit on edge the whole time I had been apart of this group, which was for around six months. So this event starts and we find this group of nineteen children who had survived a horrific attack. They end up being affected by some unknown disease so we are all in quarantine with them.

This whole time my Character gravitates to this one little girl and makes sure to dote on her. Several of the children, including her, are confirmed to be orphans. My character is in her 30s and I thought I would be given the chance to adopt her. Well the GM barely roleplayed as her because they could not handle dealing with multiple players and scenes very well. They gave us permission to just NPC the children to an extent because they can't keep up. So I am just writing scene after scene the whole time of cuteness. I am ignored by most the players and the GM even when I try to interact with others, but I just play it off and try not to let it bother me.

So after the event ends, the GM announces that the particular little girl I was taking care of was adopted by another player who hadn't even met her. Needless to say I was very livid. I ended up leaving because I felt like no one was taking me into consideration or even allowing me to really interact with the events. Two players reached out to me to try and get me to come back even though in there own words the mods were "Cold hearted." I didn't talk to the GMs about it because I was so mad and hurt to be stepped on like that, nor did they ever try to reach out to me. Am I just being childish here or am I in the right?

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  • \$\begingroup\$ So... I'm realizing that I may be misunderstanding the question. Originally, I read it as "was I right to leave?" which seems pretty clearly to be "Yes. That sounds like a situation that was getting toxic for you, and you were correct to get out. Sometimes any departure is a good departure, so long as it gets you clear." It seems like there's more to the question than that, but I'm not quite sure exactly what your'e asking. Are you asking about implied social obligations or something? \$\endgroup\$ – Ben Barden Feb 24 at 21:50
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I'm gonna give you the simple and short answer:

If you're not having fun, leaving is the right choice. Sounds like you weren't having fun, so leaving is the right thing to do.

You're playing a game. You're supposed to be enjoying yourself.

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  • \$\begingroup\$ I know I was right to leave when I am not having fun but I wanted more of an answer if I handled the above situation properly or if I was in the wrong for being upset about that particular situation. \$\endgroup\$ – LittleGoldfish Feb 24 at 14:15
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    \$\begingroup\$ We don't really handle "am I in the right?" questions here. That depends mostly on perspective imho. \$\endgroup\$ – Erik Feb 24 at 14:27
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    \$\begingroup\$ I think the point of this answer is that 1) your feelings are valid no matter what, and 2) even if someone could prove that you were in the wrong for how you handled this or felt about it, it wouldn't make the game fun for you, obligate you to stay, or make anyone else act differently. \$\endgroup\$ – Stop Being Evil Feb 24 at 16:09
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I'm just going to start with your background quote.

"To give some background, I was being repeatedly belittled out of character by other members, and was being made to walk on egg shells around everyone. I was already a bit on edge the whole time I had been apart of this group, which was for around six months."

Honestly, that's a reason to leave a group all by itself. The fact that it got bad enough that you wound up generating scenes by yourself with an NPC who wasn't even being played by the DM was another poor sign - made worse by the fact that you were trying to reach out to interact with others, and they were shutting you down. If it wasn't for that background, then I'd instead suggest going back to the DM and discussing it with them and asking for a retcon. It seems likely that part of what happened was that the DM was massively overworked and not tracking on things, and messed up. The fact that it's part of a pattern of you being mistreated, though? This group just isn't worth it for you. Getting out was the right move.

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Maybe a little childish, but not wrong.

Your feelings are your feelings, and you're not wrong to feel slighted by the GM's behavior. However, they aren't telepathic; they don't know what you feel or why unless you tell them, and I think just packing up your things and leaving without a word in this scenario is not really the most mature choice you could have made.

Once you've calmed down, I would encourage you to resume communication with them to at the very least let them know how you feel about the situation and why; during this conversation, I would recommend that you do your best to just stick to the facts and to try to avoid accusative language. After all, if they don't know what went wrong, they can't fix it - if not for you, then for other players who might feel similarly in the future. Whether or not you decide to rejoin the group afterwards is up to you.

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    \$\begingroup\$ Not telepathic? No, probably not. That's why OP tried to get the GM's attention. Quote from the OP: "So I am just writing scene after scene the whole time of cuteness. I am ignored [...]". This is heavily on the GM, for ignoring a player that put this much effort into their world. \$\endgroup\$ – Willibrord Feb 24 at 15:34
  • \$\begingroup\$ @Willibrord Just remember that we only have one side of the story. \$\endgroup\$ – NautArch Feb 24 at 15:53
  • \$\begingroup\$ This is a poorly worded answer, but there is some value here. Communication is important and you should communicate first if you are not having fun. Sounds like this player made the right choice getting out, but had they communicated with the DM and other players earlier, the group may have been salvageable for them... and if not, they would have known to leave much earlier. \$\endgroup\$ – ruffdove Feb 24 at 15:54
  • \$\begingroup\$ @Willibrord It doesn't sound to me like they tried to bring the actual problems to the GM's attention at all; they were happily playing a part in the session, and then stormed off in a huff at the end of it without explaining why. \$\endgroup\$ – nick012000 Feb 25 at 2:19

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