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So this may be a long story but my group and I have been playing “The Curse of Strahd” for a little over a year. It has been a really amazing and wonderful time. Everyone got a long so well and the characters had a good dynamic.

Then something happened. I am not sure what is was but a couple of months ago I realized that they would all talk over me or dismiss anything my character had to say. It hurt my feelings and I brought it up. They told me they were not doing this, so I let it be.

A few weeks later one of the party members basically said my character was being mean to theirs and I should change my character. My character was upset with theirs for a little bit cause they recklessly blew my character up with a bomb. Their claim was that my character was too sensitive (they tease him a lot, it’s not that much fun) and that I should change my character to fit the party more.

Why did this suddenly change? They liked my character before and now they don’t? How do I fix this without changing my character? (Also my character apologized to this players character but they have started to treat me and my character like I don’t exist.)

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  • \$\begingroup\$ Welcome to the stack MooneCircle! I recommend checking out the tour to get a good grip of how this website works, and check out the help center if you have more questions. \$\endgroup\$
    – Matthieu
    Aug 23, 2022 at 5:49
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    \$\begingroup\$ Some of the other info that could be useful would be: age of the people in the group and your social relations with them (ie how you know each other outside of the game and how you are treated then). \$\endgroup\$
    – SeriousBri
    Aug 23, 2022 at 8:15
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    \$\begingroup\$ While answers here will try their best to give you a helpful answer, this does feel like the sort of situation where some back and forth discussion might help solve your real issue. For that we have a list of forums better suited to that kind of discussion. Which includes our own Role-playing Games Chat. If you want more help that the answers here can provide I encourage you to check it out. Good luck and happy gaming! \$\endgroup\$
    – linksassin
    Aug 23, 2022 at 8:17
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    \$\begingroup\$ Do you interact with this group regularly outside of the campaign? If so, has anything changed recently outside of it? If this is a social issue, and it sounds like it might be, then the reason for it might not be contained within the game itself. \$\endgroup\$
    – Zibbobz
    Aug 23, 2022 at 14:40
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    \$\begingroup\$ @MooneCircle It’s best to add details like that to the question, so they are prominent to anyone reading (and perhaps answering) the question. Also, one of the crucial questions was about how they treat you outside of game, whether that’s on Discord or whatever. I see weekend went well (that was in person?), but what about the rest of the time? \$\endgroup\$
    – KRyan
    Aug 23, 2022 at 18:24

1 Answer 1

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This is a social problem, not a D&D problem.

While sometimes people can misunderstand how d&d works and do things at the table that annoy others due to that misunderstanding, this does not read like one of those situations.

Likely you are either missing social cues, misreading the situation, or perceiving that others are viewing you negatively when they aren't. These are all common social problems, and as D&D is a social game, they affect it. There are rarer causes for this kind of situation, like a personal animosity with someone with more social clout leading to bandwagoning against you, etc.

However the answer to the problem is unlikely to be found in any character actions, roleplaying techniques, or likewise. It's probably more to do with how you present yourself at the table. If you change how you portray your character in a way that pleases and excites people, that might make a difference, especially if D&D is the main reason you are interacting with this group. But overall, figuring out the social cause or situation which is leading to you observing this freezing-out and negative feedback is likely to be easier in terms of getting back to enjoying the game.

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    \$\begingroup\$ Downvoting because of the default assumption that this is the OP's fault. ("It's probably more to do with how you present yourself at the table.") I've seen enough situations where a player or character are singled out for reasons largely beyond their control to make me very apprehensive about this assumption. (It seems you've seen those situations, too-- I'm just much more nervous about the relative weights you assign.) \$\endgroup\$
    – Novak
    Aug 23, 2022 at 8:47
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    \$\begingroup\$ I am confused about how user2753 answered the question. You say I should change my character but that it’s not a character or D&D problem. You think I have upset them in some other way, then why would changing my character change anything? Please clarify. \$\endgroup\$
    – MCircle
    Aug 23, 2022 at 13:23
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    \$\begingroup\$ @MooneCircle they mentioned "that might make a difference" (emphasis mine) and then stated their actual answer in the final sentence: "But overall, figuring out the social cause or situation which is leading to you observing this freezing-out and negative feedback is likely to be easier in terms of getting back to enjoying the game" \$\endgroup\$
    – Flats
    Aug 23, 2022 at 14:19

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