What can we do to help our DM remember the rules?

Question

There is a question for how to help another player remember the rules. We have a slightly different problem: our DM is forgetting how even our most commonly used character features work, and is constantly perplexed how we get to our attack bonus or damage, or whatever it may be that works in our favor, and keeps asking about it.

For example, we have a rather overpowered Gloom Stalker ranger, and practially every session when he uses a feature like Sneak Attack, and tells him the damage, the DM is incredulous and asking questions about it. Then, we have to walk him through how we got to that number. We are all old friends, and so the tone in those situations can get a bit tense at times "Come on, you ask that like every effing time! How can it be you cannot remember this, he's using it all the time!". It may not help that we all have busy work and family schedules, and the cadence of play can vary and often is at best bi-weekly; nor of course, that our 15th level characters have a lot of features and items stacking up by now.

Scolding the DM does however not help them to remember better. So we have the same conversation three weeks later again. Has anyone else had this problem and found an approach to help address it?

In case it is useful: we usually play online on Roll20, with voice via skype. We are playing D&D 5e, but I felt that you could have this issue with any RPG that has moderately complex character ability structures and rules, so I don't think the issue is specific for 5e, and did not tag it as such.

Answer 1

Set macros so that every roll is self-explanatory.

That's a lot of work (especially on roll20), so you don't have to do this for every feature, but doing it for the worst offenders could only help.

On roll20, when someone rolls something stuff appears in the chat (the total result of this roll, but also the result of each individual die). You can create your own macros so that relevant details also appear as comments. This could display something like this for one of Mr Gloom's attacks:

Attack roll: 20
14 8 (adv from Umbral Sight), +4 Dexterity, +4 Proficiency, +2 Combat Style, +1 magic weapon, -5 Sharpshooter
Damages: 32
2 (1d6 shortbow), +3 +2 +4 +6 (4d6 from sneak attack), +4 Dexterity, +1 magic weapon, +10 Sharpshooter

Configure it so it stays up-to-date when you level up or acquire other modification and your DM can simply give a look at the chat every time they think the amount of damage is suspiciously high.

I personally use this as a player when I am playing Pathfinder 1st edition (who isn't nicknamed Mathfinder for nothing) as otherwise I wouldn't know which bonuses I already accounted for, but I have to admit roll20 doesn't make creating and using those macros the easiest thing. It is still manageable though.

Answer 2

Reduce what the DM needs to know

It seems your DM is regularly asking about Player Character features. Why is that their responsibility? Sure it seems like something they should know, and outside of the session I would wager they do know it. However you may be underestimating the number of different things a DM is trying to keep track of during a session.

During a typical encounter a DM of a group of four needs a functional understanding of:

• Describing the setting and encounter
• Tracking initiative
• The actions of between 1 and 5 unique NPC or monsters (likely with once off abilities to learn on the fly)
• The locations, reach and movement range of all creatures in combat
• The hitpoints of all creatures in the combat (and optionally PC's)
• Managing music, lighting or other atmospheric tools
• Maintaining a narrative and pacing of the story
• At least one level 15 caster's shenanigans and how they impact the NPCs
• A level 15 martial class with some kind of aura or defensive ability that impacts creatures near them
• The level 15 Gloom Stalker Ranger / Rogue multiclass with a complicated sneak attack calculation that may or may not include sharpshooter

Can you see how in the moment the DM might not remember the exact mechanics for your PCs? Most players struggle to remember everything their 1 level 15 character can do, why expect a DM to remember everything for a whole party of them?

Taking Responsibility for your Characters

Instead of viewing this as "How to help our DM remember?" view it as "How to reduce the number of things our DM needs to remember?".

To start with, each of you should take responsibility for knowing your own characters abilities. Be ready to explain to the DM any rolls or circumstantial effects they need to be aware of. Revisiting your example:

• GS: I'm going to attack the Gnoll. Sneak Attack!
• DM: How does that work?
• Players: Why don't you know?
• GS: Do I have advantage? If I do I get 4d6 extra damage.
• DM: No, why would you have advantage?
• GS: I have Umbral Sight, so I'm invisible meaning I should have advantage, oh and sharpshooter!
• DM: Ok, so you do have advantage, what does sharpshooter do?
• GS: rolls 15 - 5 from sharpshooter, plus 7 to hit. Does a 17 hit?
• DM: That hits, how much damage?
• GS: 27 + 10 from sharpshooter.

Consider how that could be improved if the player didn't expect the DM to know everything.

• GS: I'm attacking the Gnoll with sharpshooter. I have advantage from Umbral Sight so I get sneak attack. 17 to hit?
• DM: Hits, roll damage.
• GS: 37.

It sounds a bit formal written out like that, and you wouldn't really talk like that at the table. But the point is that by giving the DM the relevant information upfront they don't need to worry about remembering it.

This requires a solid trust between players and DM that no one is cheating, but if that is a concern at your table this isn't the question you should be asking.

Offer to help

Another way to help your DM is to take some of the load off them. If they are open to it, you could delegate things like tracking initiative to one of the players. Similar managing things like music and lighting (if used), moving miniatures or calculating range are all things that can be handled by a player. What your DM wants or needs help with is something you should discuss with them.

Whatever you decide, try to cut your DM some slack. They are doing a hard job and remembering the specifics of your characters is the least of their responsibilities.

Answer 3

Sound like your DM is struggling

Personally, I doubt this is really an issue about knowledge of the rules. Sounds like the DM is frustrated trying to create balanced encounters.

Talk to your DM about whether they feel they aren't providing appropriate challenges.

DM'ing for 15th level characters in 5e is pretty tough. Even tougher when players min-max and every monster seems to die instantly.

This relatively new DM is almost certainly struggling to challenge the party, and his constant questions are likely because he's a little baffled at what to do.

The easiest fix is to start over

If you started at level 1, maybe leveled up a little slower, and the players just made fun characters without min-maxing, your DM's job would be way easier. He could just look at monster CR to create encounters — or maybe just use a published adventure.

Save minmaxing for more experienced DM's

There's a time and place for min-maxing and optimized characters. But playing with an inexperienced DM isn't it.

I'm a forever DM (since '81) and a war games enthusiast. I can make an optimized character and play with optimized tactics. But when I get a break and one of my friends will DM, I try never to really OP too much and stomp on their encounters — though it still happens sometimes.

You want to be aware of the DM getting frustrated when the party is romping through everything.

Quadrupling hit points

Another short cut to take is, if the party is going to do way more damage than the Monster Manual assumes, the monsters can just get way more hit points.

Answer 4

"Can you post the description of this feature/spell/whatever into the chat?"

Full disclosure: I am suggesting this because you said you play with roll20, it's not a solution that is going to work for an in-person game. I personally use it all the time when I DM.

As someone already mentioned, a DM already has a ton of things to remember, knowing how your character abilities work is your own job, not theirs, I usually just have a vague overview of what my party can and cannot do and it doesn't stop my players or myself from enjoying our sessions at all.

If you haven't been lazy about setting up your roll20 character sheets and updating them on level-ups, every attack, spell, feat, racial or class ability and everything else should be on it. From there it takes a single button click to post the entire description of the feature to the chat, you use this speech bubble - looking button to do it. You can even choose whether to post it publicly or directly to the DM.

Whenever I'm not sure / have no idea how something that they want to use is supposed to function, all I need to say is "please post the description" and then spend about 10 seconds reading it.

Also be precise about what you want to use and why, if you want to use Sneak Attack you need to explicitly say that, as well as the reason why you think it applies, the DM cannot read your thoughts.

Answer 5

Suggest them to read the character sheets before each session.

As a DM, before each session, I read the character sheets of the players for checking their abilities, features and eventually particular magic items. This is really useful when the characters leveled up from the previous session, and then they may have gained new class features never seen before.

In this way, when a player says "I use [ability][magic item]", I know what they are talking about and what this is doing and/or its effects.

Sometimes, I make a check also on their prepared spells: this speeds up a lot encounters when there are casters in the party, specially when they prepared spells with several or ongoing effects.

I can do this because we play online, being scattered abroad, and we use DnDBeyond: in roll20 you have the same possibility.

In case of tables that are not playing online but in person¹, for applying this strategy the DM should have an updated paper version of character sheets.

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¹ Lucky you people!

Answer 6

There may be big shoes to fill

The new DM has seen you handle the story while keeping track of all PCs, possibly even seen you suggest ways to better achieve intended outcomes and remind players of forgotten modifiers. So that's what every DM should be able to do, right?

It seems to me that the new DM may be trying to juggle a full figure-8 as that is what was happening before, when just keeping three balls moving may be the (current) extents of their abilities. Trying too hard, and while doing so, being unwilling to relax and let anything go without being sure they understand what's happening.

That's diving straight into the deepest part of the pool without first learning to tread water. This DM needs some floating assistance.

Divide et Impera

You have a veteran DM, who knows the rules but wants to play, and a newbie DM, who wants to lead a game, but is unsure of the rules. Offload the new DM by handling the rules for PCs while explaining your rulings so they can pick up on the details if they wish to learn. Let them keep track of the world and NPCs, but be prepared to offload even more.

I did this in another RPG, where I also occasionally took over entire flanks of the combat, to make combat faster. That requires a large amount of trust and an ability to understand what the main GM is going for in that conflict, so YMMV, but just offloading the "rules stuff" in regards to PCs should be simple enough.