How do I prevent a problem with a player/character that has a history of doing whatever they think is funniest if my character doesn't know that? [duplicate]

Question

Basically, I'm in a group with someone I've played with before, but my character has never met. This player has in the past cast shatter on a cave ceiling while everyone except for him was inside the cave in an attempt to kill a normal bear, in a level 3 party, and didn't even get the bear, and also almost killed the war domain cleric. Another time, he farted fire at me, the life cleric, causing me to almost fall to death saves shortly after.

Originally, I thought I wasn't in the same group as him, but I got relocated to his group when my original DM couldn't DM due to being a student monitor now. When I talked to him, I said I knew that if I was in his group he would most likely take the banishment spell or something like that, just to mess with me, and his response was "Touché," and he then continued to give more examples of ways he would mess with me, such as throwing me off a cliff. He also put in his character's 'flaws' section "will kill for fun."

I know this is probably rude of me to say and feel, but being in a group with him makes me feel a bit... Uneasy? Anxious? I don't know. I just want to find a way to settle this without hurting anyone's feelings, without making anyone feel unwelcome, and without metagaming. Is that possible?

Answer 1

I just want to find a way to settle this without hurting anyone's feelings, without making anyone feel unwelcome, and without metagaming.

He seems to not care about hurting your feelings, making you feel unwelcome, and metagaming to portray a jerk character.

It is not wrong to say, before you are playing, something along the lines of "I am uncomfortable playing D&D with you". You don't need to give anyone an explanation for that.

I am assuming (based on "being a student monitor") that you are all in school. Are these D&D games associated with the school? Who relocated you to his group? Are they aware that you are uncomfortable playing with him? Can you ask to be in a different group?

The general advice is that No D&D is preferable to Bad D&D, especially in cases where you are anxious about playing. It's certainly possible the other players also dislike the actions of this player, and would rather play with you and without them, but that is by no means a certainty.

Answer 2

He also put in his character's 'flaws' section "will kill for fun."

Absent creativity to provide an alternate solution, it isn't entirely unreasonable for characters to respond in a sociopathic manner. I just played a game where we resorted to "murder hobo" tactics. After all, it is just a game. But, if that's what the player is actively seeking, this may be more concerning.

Serious response

If this player is truly seeking outlets for sociopathic behavior, and you have any inclination that they have acquired real-life means, this is the wrong place for advice and they need to seek professional help and you should alert the authorities.

Less alarmist...

If the player simply has My Guy Syndrome that devolves into poor behavior toward other players, then I would suggest avoiding them. As pointed out

No D&D is preferable to Bad D&D

There's plenty of gamers seeking the fun of the group over fun for one player at the detriment of others or the group.