I'm currently engaged in a Pathfinder game online, on a forum. I've been playing on this forum for a year now, and this is my second (third if you count IRL) RPG campaign. Never had a problem, since my previous fellow players were all cooperating to make the game work.

I'm playing a half-elven ranger in this Pathfinder campaign. It's a large campaign with two parties in it (our group of eight split into two parties). We are having problems with a player who tends to mix OOC and IC: he takes it personally every time we disagree with him, and gets angry inside and outside the game.

For example: The campaign has PvP aspects. All eight players agreed and made an official rule that forbade us to fight each other (yet). But when I once disagreed with his character, he almost beat mine to death and insulted me OOC. He has been warned by the GM, who saved my character — I couldn't defend myself at the time.

He has no longer the right to talk to us OOC, and GM and players agree that he is a PITA. In retaliation, he decided to be even more annoying in-game.

He doesn't care about our RP and plays on his own, which lead to really incoherent situations.

(I suggested a plan to take care of a pack of zombies. He disagreed, called me an an "idiot" — to put it politely — and then proposed the exact same plan.)

I'm looking for advice on how to deal with this type of player. I can't kill his PC, as the campaign rules just mean he will reroll a character; he's in the campaign until the GM kicks him out. I've tried to be amicable, polite, indifferent... But he is really working on my last nerve. He doesn't seem to follow reason.

The forum has forbid us to insult each other, and encourage to keep relationships between player as amicable as possible. These rules apply to the campaign, but we can be as merciless as we want IC - as long as it's not meta (I can't kill his character only because I don't appreciate him as a player).

Is there a way to get along with this player — or a least, play with him, without having him ruining the mood — without killing him in game, or going crying to GM (he has to stay impartial and I don't want to ask him more — as he already saved me, due to disrespect from the other player)?

2 years later, what actually happened

Sometimes, there is not much you can do. This person became toxic enough for all the players to report to the forum's administrators, who issued a warning. Then he kept his toxicity in game, so we just all ended up killing his character.
It wasn't rewarding. Or relieving. It was a sad, bitter execution in a cellar. It's not fun to play with such a person, and it's not fun kicking them out. But if you're not willing to play with the group, then you have nothing to do at the table.
After this execution, we moved on with our IC & OOC lives. We (the players) made clear he wasn't welcome at the table with such a behaviour, and we would murder his new character without a second thought if the need arises. As the GM wanted to stay neutral, we couldn't forbid him to play, but we didn't allow the problem to remain. Eventually, he cursed at us, and refused to reroll, and so we went on amazing adventures with a troll down.

TL;DR - You're as much a part of the game as your GM. And if the GM doesn't take actions, it's up to you to find a solution - including leaving the game, if it come to that.

  • \$\begingroup\$ I realize this happened over two years ago, but do you remember what you did, and what the outcome was? It would be useful for those reading this question later. A comment is fine for a quick update, but if some explanation is warranted then answering it yourself with what you actually did, and what impact it had on the GM, players, and game is better. \$\endgroup\$
    – Adam Davis
    Oct 30, 2017 at 14:59
  • \$\begingroup\$ Sounds like you took the best solution possible with an uncooperative GM. Sometimes the no-mercy solution is the only real solution. \$\endgroup\$
    – Gloweye
    Sep 7, 2018 at 11:21

3 Answers 3


You should talk with the GM. The GM should kick the player out. The situation is clearly beyond the 'talking to people' point and several intermediate measures have been tried. The person the group unanimously doesn't want to play with is an jerk and you shouldn't play with them. Further intermediate measures will only allow him to damage the game further.

In a non-in-person RPG group like you are playing in, kicking players is hard but it still occasionally needs to be done and it is the GM's responsibility. Consider sharing the 5 Geek Social Fallacies page with your GM, as he may benefit from it. Consider having a group discussion on how bad someone needs to be for your group to kick them to give the GM some space to talk about why he or she hasn't kicked them in a non-defensive manner and you some space to explain that the group expects them to kick people like this if it comes up again in the future.


You, to GM: "I'm afraid I'm no longer having fun, and I'm planning on dropping from the campaign unless this is fixed. You've already tried to rehabilitate the offending player, it hasn't worked. I'm not doing this as a threat - this is merely a drag on me, and the game isn't fun for me. The reality is that I have better things to do with my time if this game doesn't become fun soon. I know, however, that you are more than capable of continuing the campaign in the absence of either one of us, so don't worry if you have to tell me "no", I understand that this is my choice."

That's all you need to do. Tell the GM that the game is no longer fun, and you have better things to do with your time than put up with a bad game. Chances are good that if you let others know you're crafting this type of letter to the GM, they may do the same if they also find the campaign isn't fun, and the GM will have to act or watch things fall apart due to one bad apple.

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    \$\begingroup\$ I agree with this answer, except that telling them that you'll leave and that you have better things to do with your time is unnecessary. I'd say something like, "I'm no longer having fun. I know you tried to deal with him, but I can't take it anymore; if this isn't resolved, I'm going to leave." It doesn't come off as a threat so much as you doing the only thing left for you to do. Although rereading my comment, it comes off pretty much the same way. \$\endgroup\$ Apr 6, 2015 at 16:00
  • \$\begingroup\$ In another situation, this might work, and I see your point, but I'm not really ready or willing to leave this campaign. Two players left the campaign for different reasons, and I invited a close friend to join. Moreover, i'm still having fun with the others players, and I'm really invested in my character. I'm just having troubles with this particuliar player. But, anyway, thank you for your answer. \$\endgroup\$
    – Nyakouai
    Apr 7, 2015 at 11:55

It sounds like this player has shifted from confronting you out-of-game to confronting you in-game, and abusing that distinction in order to make life difficult for you and the rest of the players.

This is not acceptable.

In a sense, it's an insidious form of my guy syndrome, one that he's invoking on purpose to get 'revenge' on you (not your character, but you personally).

Despite the fact that he's using his character to get this retribution, it is entirely within his power to not act like this. The fact that he is, and that he's doing so to get revenge on you the player, shows that he's willingly trying to sabotage your game.

You should bring this fact up to the GM, and ask that he be removed from the game entirely - you've already given him a chance to reform, and he's abused it.


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