I am currently playing in a small group, 3 players, 1 DM. All rogues (I recommend this btw!). Normally I am one of the players, but the DM wanted a break and so I offered to do a side quest of about 2-3 sessions long. I have done this once before with the same party. We've been playing this campaign for about a year.
Now here's the problem: One of the players can be reaaaally difficult about things for no apparent reason.
DM shows us a map with a city on it we've never seen before. Player says she thinks her character would've known that city (he's from that general area), so why wasn't it there before? Is offended and disappointed, doesn't really want to play anymore, feels like this changes everything and everything is lost (it didn't change anything btw).
Me DM-ing: a problem arises in a restaurant (the wine has been tampered with) manager (NPC by me) goes to talk to the guest (the mayor) and tells him what's going on. Player is offended "I would've never agreed to that". I explain that she did not specify what she wanted to do when I asked her, so then I fill in the blanks. Is offended, feels discouraged and like everything is going to fail.
Me DM-ing: the rest of the party wants to inspect the wine-tampering scenario as it may have been an attack on the mayor (this is the core of my side quest). Player says she doesn't see a reason to investigate, she just want to wait to get better (the wine made her ill) and forget about this all together. She says she can't think of ANY reason for her character to want to do anything about this, while I can already name 5. She then says just because she knows I want them to go there to do the quest, she still doesn't want to, because if she went along for that reason that would be meta-gaming.
Last one: this side quest: they stake out the restaurant to see if they find anything or anyone suspicious. Nothing interesting happens (the guy they're looking for is simply not at this dinner), instead of thinking of other ways to find out more (plenty of people to question, plenty other places to go investigated that I have named for them), she shuts down and says things like "Well I don't know what to do, I give up, why are we even doing this?". The rest of the party wants to keep looking and have to really persuade her to come to.
This annoys me a lot because I spent a lot of time and effort in making this quest and making it fun and mysterious and interesting. Basically, she doesn't want to play it, "it doesn't intrigue her character" even though this is RIGHT up our party's alley! She's a new player (first campaign). I think this behavior is very rude, and shows no respect for the game, the story, for me and to the other players because she ruins their experience as well. Sometimes we have to spend about an hour talking her into going along.
When things don't go her way or it's not how she envisioned it she starts talking about how things are "unfair" or "not realistic" or "Oh but I would've seen that!" when she didn't request to roll for perception.
This behaviour doesn't seem to follow a pattern, often its fine, but when it happens it pretty bad and it comes out of nowhere. When I talk to her about it she acts like we're picking on her and calling her a bad player.She doesn't have a good explanation for this behaviour, she just acts like a stubborn child.
I'm starting to lose my patience, how do I get her to be more trusting and cooporative with the DM? And to have a little more faith in what I have planned and that what I do is for a reason?