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Context: Me and my party (Summoner, Ninja, Ranger, Alchemist, I'm a cleric, all level 11) are in a fairly standard setting, when we stumble upon a crashed spaceship that has been infested with disease. Long story short, we're trapped in a zombie apocalypse-meets-Alien type scenario. There are lots of infected humanoids trying to eat us, we're quickly going insane, and there is something growing inside of each of us that is trying to get out (clawing pains in our stomachs).

I'm looking for some spells, preferably on the cleric list, that could potentially deal with (negate or delay) the chest burster aspect. I know heal is good for mental conditions. I have access to spells level 6 and lower.

As a side note, we have a way to recharge spent resources, including preparing new spells, at the cost of "tearing apart our soul" (probably exp loss), so if I find a good spell I can prepare it on the fly.

While I doubt our GM would allow us to completely bypass a major mechanic, he does like to reward creativity so even if something won't cure us it might give us the time we need to escape since we are all about to die otherwise.


Some extra background info:

  • We are inside the ship
  • The way in is no longer accessible (covered in a swarm of giant death ants, to be precise)
  • We need a key card and a code to access a different level (we have a code, we don't know if it's the right one)
  • Our GM hates Teleport and similar effects
  • The ship is eventually going to wipe out all life on the planet
  • My god, Gozreh, appeared to me as we were entering and told me that it's going to be very difficult and what we do will be a tipping point for the whole world, and that the gods can't see or affect anything inside the ship (which is why we are using our souls to recharge our stuff).
  • Our Alchemist is immune to both disease and poison, and he is still being affected
  • I will probably die from the time related effects last
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  • \$\begingroup\$ What do you know about what's inside you? That is, prebursting, does it have statistics with which you can interact or is it just a curse/disease/poison? \$\endgroup\$ – Hey I Can Chan Aug 17 '15 at 16:49
  • \$\begingroup\$ We don't know anything about it basically. The GM has a timer, and every time it goes off he rolls for mental and physical effects. We have a rough estimate for how many times we can suffer before dying (4 in my case, possibly based on con?) \$\endgroup\$ – GreySage Aug 17 '15 at 16:54
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    \$\begingroup\$ Seems to me like your best bet is to ask your GM outside the game whether you're supposed to be curing yourself or if you're supposed to solve the current plot point within the time limit. I suppose one other alternative is that he's a bit of a sadist going for the slowest Rocks Fall scenario he could think of. \$\endgroup\$ – Lilienthal Aug 18 '15 at 10:49
  • \$\begingroup\$ I'm certain he's not TRYING for a Rocks Fall, but I think he vastly over estimated our speed/ability. I know we're supposed to solve the plot in the time limit, but I also know that it is extremely unlikely given our group, so I'm looking for possible alternatives. \$\endgroup\$ – GreySage Aug 18 '15 at 18:36
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The typical spell for dealing with implanted eggs is Remove Disease:

The spell also kills some hazards and parasites, including green slime and others.

An example of a creature very similar to a chest burster is the Lunarma:

Implant Eggs (Ex)

As a full-round action, a lunarma can lay 2d6 eggs in a helpless creature. The eggs hatch after 24 hours and each deals 1 point of Con damage per hour as they feed on the host. After 1d2 days of eating, the larvae crawl out and find a safe place to mature into adults. A remove disease spell rids a creature of all implanted eggs or larvae, or they can be removed one at a time by using the Heal skill to treat deadly wounds.

The Lunarma record also suggests another alternative: Using the Heal skill to Treat Deadly Wounds.

Treat Deadly Wounds is also how you remove an implanted bomb:

Removing an implanted bomb requires a Heal check to treat deadly wounds, followed by a dispel magic spell or Disable Device check to neutralize the bomb (DC = 11 + alchemist's caster level).

Naturally, your DM is free to say "but mine are different."

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Raise Dead is a 5th level cleric spell which you'll probably want to raise the townsfolk after you put 'em down the first time. Make sure you preface castings with Purify Food and Drink (an orison)

Remove Disease, as @AceCalhoon notes, is the correct spell for easily fixing this at any stage of development pre-death. Restoration Domain gets it as a level 2 spell, which means finding NPC access for non-soul-ripping extra access should be relatively simple.

Parasite Removal, as @AceCalhoon also mentions, is usually also accomplishable via surgery with the Heal skill.

Cleanse is a supped-up version of Remove Disease as a level 5 spell. It isn't actually needed for anything but if Remove Disease doesn't work, you should still check if this works since your DM might be giving the alien infestation some power like "Remove Disease doesn't end this effect; it takes more powerful magic, like Cleanse, to heal an infected creature". This is the sort of thing one encounters with curses and Remove Curse fairly regularly so it makes sense to check for it.

Banishment, if the aliens are Not of This World and count as creatures, is one of your best options, especially given the time you have to study the creatures and any substances (e.g. light, fire) they fear/hate/or are repulsed by. You can banish at least 22 HD of stuff per round.

Protection from Evil, if the aliens or their creators are evil (as long as they aren't true neutral there's an equivalent spell), will prevent you from being zombie-controlled or going crazy while you are under its effects, and grant a new save to stop being a zombie to any zombie you cast it on. Obviously the thing to do with this is to cast Hallow (which grants free Magic Circle against Evil, which grants free Protection from Evil) on your base (possibly several times, depending on size), tying a Daylight spell to the Hallow effect, if that in fact affects the aliens negatively. Hallow is instantaneous so it's almost impossible to remove its effects even if you wanted to (you'd need Break Enchantment. Even Unhallow won't work once the Hallow is in place; you'll just wind up with both), though the Daylight effect, if you add it, will only last for 1 year. Hallow is a 4th level spell costing 1000 gp to cast plus extra for tying spells to it. Protection from Evil is a 1st level spell.

Delay Poison isn't really worth using, even if it is allowed to apply, but it does do what you asked, stopping the progression for 1 hour per level per casting. It's a 2nd level spell.

If your DM has played Elona it is probable that the chestburster/fantasy mashup was inspired by that game. Anything which cures pregnancy in that game is a decent experiment if you're desperate. As a summary, these methods are:

  • poisoning oneself
  • Drinking strong acids
  • Dying
  • Inducing vomiting

Obviously precautions should be taken against the side effects of these 'cures' before attempting them.

In a similar vein, Boiling Blood may damage the parasite as well as/instead of the host.

Lastly, if you are employing the third party supplement Book of Beasts, Summon Minor Ally can solve this problem for you if you can get access to it. The Hydrus is a Tiny animal who is also a chestburster, but a much faster acting and less deadly/unpleasant one. Provided you're willing to have two-foot long chestbursting clawed eel things crawl down your throat, they should kill the other parasite on their way out.

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  • \$\begingroup\$ Although I didn't explicitly mention it, our context is very time sensitive (although time is very subjective between game-time and real-time). We don't have a base or care about the people, we are basically running out, possibly solving a world-ending problem on the way. \$\endgroup\$ – GreySage Aug 17 '15 at 19:25
  • \$\begingroup\$ Also, the 'disease' is from our world, the people and ship are from another planet, but the same plane. \$\endgroup\$ – GreySage Aug 17 '15 at 19:27
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    \$\begingroup\$ I never thought I'd live to see a game where Elona's pregnancy page would be relevant to a question on RPG.SE! For those not familiar with it, Elona's "Pregnant" status effect is almost exactly the kind of alien-parasite situation described in the OP. \$\endgroup\$ – GMJoe Aug 18 '15 at 0:11
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Plane Shift will save all of the party. Unlike with teleport, discussed below, there is no chance of accidentally taking any chest bursters with you, choose the 'up to 8 creatures holding hands' option, and then the chest bursters can only come along if they are holding your hands. Downside? Takes 2 casts to get back to the material plane and you are 5-500 miles away from your starting point.

Teleport will save all of you except maybe the caster (not that your party has a sorceror, and anyone who accidentally read summoner as sorceror would be foolish).

It can only teleport creatures touched, so it cannot teleport the chest bursters inside the rest of the party.

The chest burster inside the caster may count as a touched willing creature, which would doom the sorceror.

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    \$\begingroup\$ It does specify what happens if you try to teleport more than that; the spell fails. Also, this only works if the parasites are creatures. Otherwise a good answer! \$\endgroup\$ – Please stop being evil Aug 18 '15 at 18:31
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    \$\begingroup\$ Good answer, but I think the GM would rule the parasites as part of the body for the purposes of the spell. Also, I KNOW he would not like us simply running away as a solution, he doesn't like teleport in general, and this wouldn't let us solve the big world-ending problem in the ship. I will probably prepare a Plane Shift to use when everyone else is dead, since we'll basically be screwed anyway at that point, and he might let my character survive. \$\endgroup\$ – GreySage Aug 18 '15 at 18:42
  • \$\begingroup\$ On similar lines, Gaseous Form (Alchemist 3) or Wind Walk (Cleric 6) seem like they would separate the party member from the parasite, although again it depends on the GM's ruling. \$\endgroup\$ – DaveMongoose Aug 19 '15 at 8:29

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