First, for those who aren't familiar with my situation, this stems from the same environment as this previous question and its predecessors -- an online persistent world/proto-MMO used largely as an augmented play-by-chat in a mostly freeform style, in other words.
That environment (like others of its type) attracted quite a few narrativist, immersion-in-the-story focused players that are comfortable using narrative management tools (e.g. managing which character is at the center of the action, controlling how fast or slowly the story is reaching key points, varying detail level depending on the importance of the scene to the story, and matching the key themes being emphasized by the plot to what a given player or group is interested in at any given time), or in other words, they operate in an Author Stance, using their characters as a means for story-building.
I find that trying to invoke those tools myself without breaking my own immersion is difficult at best and near-impossible much of the time -- or in other words, I find myself in a Character Stance at some times, and when I'm not, the character is a means for building the world, not any given story. Furthermore, I find that my own immersion can be disrupted by other players utilizing narrative-management tools (for instance, glossing over the technical details in a scene where, in my mind at least, the outcome depends on said technical details of the scene), as I find that such actions strike me in much the same way as many narrativist players find character optimization disruptive to their game -- i.e. as an out of character impingement on the story. In their mode of play their character is doing something because it moves the story in a desired direction vs. because it is what the character would do in that situation. I prefer the opposite.
How can I use and/or witness the use of narrative controls without them breaking my simulation-based immersion/"knocking" me out of Character Stance?