A few of my players (2 out of 4 in the current group) would like having a love interest in our campaign. I feel like it's something that we can achieve, as the campaign is not too dark and into "classical" heroism.

My main problem is that I have no idea on how to include that element in the campaign.

My first thought was to create a roster of suitors, but I had trouble seeing how to add them into the story and how to make adequate NPCs for that particular purpose (i.e., not just based on looks).

Another point I had problems with is how to set up a system for developing love. It's not just a charisma roll — there are a lot factors involved winning the heart of the princess.

So how do I include love interests for player characters? Specifically:

  • How do I provide time for romance in a campaign based on fights and quests?
  • How can a player character strive to win the love of the object of their affection?
  • How can I entertain players that are not interested in such matters?

7 Answers 7


Do not cheapen relationships

Do not have a "romantic interest" NPCs, instead have real characters who may develop strong feelings for a PC.

Significant others are not quest items or things to be won through cheap tricks -- or for that matter expensive devices. To do so is to cheapen the life of the significant other. One cannot win the love of someone unless one lives in a romantic novel or uses chemicals whether potions or roofies. The latter kinda shifts the definition of "love".

You should aim to have NPCs that are fully fledged humans, with flaws and qualities, different physics and personalities. Let the role play between said characters bring them close to the PC. Make characters that the PCs want to spend time with, let feelings grow out of that.

If you wish to delve into homosexuality, you could have a same-sex NPC fall for one of the PCs and try to make their feeling known. This could be an interesting way to explore a different love story. Although, clearly an unconventional one. Ringil does spring to mind here.

Love as a "thing".

You can use love as a thing, this is not a bad thing in and off itself. For example:

Romeo and Juliet

Here love is taken as a plot point between two teenagers (the first one madly in love with someone else at the start of the play) who end up tearing their respective families out of their mutual hatred. Love here is but a McGuffin for the fulfilment of the story.

Les Liaisons Dangereuses

The Marquise de Merteuil and the Vicomte de Valmont are fine examples of what can be achieved in the art of seduction. If your characters are interested in that kind of romantic questing, then all the above is clearly less relevant. Targets are notches on the bed, nothing more than disposable pawns in the great game of seduction. In such a game, skill such as lying, subterfuge, and acting are paramount.

Tristan and Iseult

Here you have yet a different take on love. The whole quest is about the consequences of a falling in love: some tragic, some happy. This is the faery tale end of the spectrum: If your game is a faery tale where love is instantaneous and conquers all, then that's fine even if it is still a trope and thus needs to be done well.


Unless you want to make matters of romance a central part of the plot, which it sounds like you do not want to do, then you shouldn't try and treat them like quest objectives.

What I have done in the past is treat courting a love interest as a side project for the players interested, while giving the other characters side projects. These side projects should be defined by the players, not the GM. In the case of the romance, this avoids some really awkward moments - for example assuming the wrong sexual orientation of the character. In the case of the characters not interested in romance, side projects give the other characters something to do for depth.

Usually I find down times to get characters working on side projects, including romance. For a clear and loot type game, this down time would usually be at the inn between quests. It could be as simple as asking them what they are doing that day with their love interest, and role playing out applicable parts.

  • \$\begingroup\$ I like this because it is straightforward without over-thinking the issue. Maybe link to some advice on using down time to cover this "extended" RP, because it's a nice addition to many games. Some groups just do mechanics for buying/selling and levelling up in down time, and might not have considered this opportunity. \$\endgroup\$ Dec 1, 2016 at 8:06

How do I setup a time for romance in a campaign based on fights and quests?

Romance typically doesn't happen in the middle of an epic battle. It happens around the campfire later that night, or in the local tavern. The best way to include such subplots is to actually role-play the interactions between interested parties when the group makes camp for the night.

If both halves of a romantic pairing are active party members, maybe they can make passing comments or quips while the group is fighting/exploring/whatever, but these interactions should be kept quick and limited in number, since there are, in fact, more important things at hand. In the real world, a romantic couple is not constantly remarking on their partner's "sweet tush" or making double-entendres about what might happen later that night, especially not when they're in the middle of something more important.

You can (and should) also cut away from the lovebirds to ask what the other party members are doing during this time. This gives them an opportunity to remain engaged in the game and, not incidentally, an opportunity to develop their own non-romantic subplots. This will enrich the game as a whole and hopefully keep everyone entertained.

How can my players win the love of their target ? (Oh my god it sounds creepy)

I would do this entirely through role-play. No dice. Using game mechanics to describe romance (and worse, sex) invariably objectifies the entire process. It reduces the interaction to numbers and obliterates the magic that is Love. If players want to pursue romantic subplots, they do it by role-playing their interactions with their love interests.

Also, try to keep things as mature as possible. Don't let it degenerate into a series of crude (out of character) jokes from the peanut gallery.

Maybe use the occasional Charisma check for important turning points (ie: the player used a REALLY cheesy pick up line... Did she laugh, or did she brush him off?) But do this SPARINGLY. The majority of such things should unfold naturally through role-play.

How can I entertain players that are not interested in such matters.

By keeping these romantic subplots short and to the point. A real relationship doesn't develop all at once. It happens over time, after several meetings and time spent talking with one another. Play these one scene at a time. Ideally one scene per game session, two tops. Stop at a good, heart-warming moment. Move on to other, non-romance related things. And try to make sure the majority of the game revolves around traditional adventure - which all players will presumably enjoy.

ABOVE ALL, DO NOT INCLUDE SEX "ON SCREEN." I mean don't include it at all. When characters start kissing, you fade to black or change the scene to something else. This isn't about being a prude - playing out a scene where two characters are having intercourse takes the game into an entirely different arena. It's going to awkward for everyone, and will almost certainly devolve the entire subplot into dick jokes and misogyny. There's probably going to be some of that no matter what you do, but you want to avoid it as much as possible, as it will only cheapen the whole experience.

Female characters should not become pregnant unless all players (ALL players) are willing to use it as a plot hook. Dealing with a pregnancy (let alone a baby) is going to have a significant impact on the entire game - not just the characters who are the prospective parents, but everyone around them as well. Yes, unexpected pregnancies can happen in real life, but in an RPG campaign it's a HUGE wrinkle that's likely to derail everything else. This will only end in tears.

  • 4
    \$\begingroup\$ Related to the last two paragraphs: How should a GM deal with sexuality in an RPG? \$\endgroup\$ Nov 30, 2016 at 18:24
  • 1
    \$\begingroup\$ I'd like to throw in an emphasis on the "All Players" part of the above answer. About eight or nine years ago, I was involved in a campaign where my character had a romantic interest in an NPC paladin. I took alchemical precautions, made the checks, rolled well, only to get DM'd because his plot rail called for our characters to have children-- and since the paladin was noble and protective, it resulted in my character being benched as soon as the pregnancy was discovered. I left the campaign thereafter, as no warning of this was given until he decided she was pregnant. Object lesson... \$\endgroup\$ Dec 2, 2016 at 4:18
  • \$\begingroup\$ Yeah, I've also had DMs spring "surprise relationship issues" on my character in the past - and the significant other wasn't even an NPC beforehand! It was all "remember that girl you liked back home...? Surprise!" Facepalm. DM fiat has it's place in any RPG, for sure, but its use is a responsibility that should be taken seriously and with due consideration to all involved. \$\endgroup\$
    – Steve-O
    Dec 2, 2016 at 14:17

My answer to this question is very much alike to my answer to How should a GM deal with sexuality in an RPG?

Most of the games I run and play in have some romantic component. I've had players have one night stands, romances, get married, have kids, and all variations on that theme. Right now I'm in two games - I'm running one where one PC is married and working on having a kid with a serpentfolk woman (he's a serpent shaman, so...), one is romantically involved with a voodoo loa of the ocean, and one is chaste from his clerical vows but has still managed to become the vertex of a love triangle. I'm playing in the Paizo Mummy's Mask AP (but using the Dungeon World rules) and my PC just became romantically involved with a snooty noblewoman who is apparently supposed to be an initial villain but the heart wants what the heart wants...

  • You don't need "designated romance targets." You just need a realistic world populated with a variety of people that the PCs have time to interact with. You don't know what's going to pique your PCs' interest any more than you know what piques your friends' interest (some of them may have a "type" but there's usually a fair amount of unpredictability). Obviously you want to make sure you're not falling into the classic "Tolkien trap" (hey have any of you ever seen a woman? No? Odd.).

  • Separating play into two phases of "now we're adventuring" vs "now this is downtime in town" has always seemed dysfunctional to me; we've had many NPC romantic interests on adventures with us and we've found plenty of adventure in towns. Last game session I had hooked up with my romantic interest for the first time and while I was still in the saddle, so to speak, the bad guys' minions came busting down all our inn room doors for a knock down drag out fight. All you need to worry about is fair share of spotlight time. Romance is like anything else, if one PC goes and enters in a bunch of pit fights while in town that can run the risk of "not entertaining players who don't have an interest in such matters" unless you manage the clock time. Just switch off. "What do you do, PC A?" "I swing my spiked gauntlet at my pit fight opponent! I hit for 12 points of damage!" "He swoons. PC B, what do you do?" "I sing a love ballad to my beloved! I roll a 20 on Perform: Music!" "She swoons. PC C?"

  • As for rules support - there are pros and cons to leveraging rules as part of a relationship. On the one hand, there aren't many good ones - long ago I asked Relationship Mechanics for D&D/Pathfinder? and came up empty, and since then I've seen mechanics for it in e.g. the Paizo Jade Regent AP that are just bad. Other games have random Bonds or Drives or Virtues or Spankings but those are either to enforce acting on them (and if your players are interested in romance you don't have to enforce it) or just give bonuses/penalties in situations related to your romance (boooooring). On the other hand, doing it all by GM fiat without any dice becomes predictable and boring. Yes you, random thespian GM who thinks you are perfect - it either becomes cheap (here's a girl/boyfriend for you! Enjoy!) or otherwise predictable (ah, here's the femme fatale who's going to betray us... again...). I like to at least use secret Charisma rolls from time to time to see what people think of each other (not just for romance). Plus, sometimes a NPC may want to initiate romance (shocker!). Unless you are playing a real formalized courtly love sim, in general you want to balance you fiatting realistic development of the relationship with some randomized ups and downs. In the perfect world when your PC asks that person to marry them, they should have the same "I'm sure they'll say yes but oh crap will it be?" sensation from IRL.


To expand on @Sardathrion 's great answer regarding not having separate Romantic NPC's and Regular NPC's, you can allow romance to be one way that players can bring NPC's on their side and/or gain useful information or items. For example, maybe if a player successfully seduces your tavern wench, her father will give a dowry of a useful magical item and oh, the tavern wench has some magical skills so now you have an NPC spellcaster on the team that the players are likely to be a bit protective of. The magical item could be one that could be obtained some other way, like by buying it from the father or by stealing it, but by adding the romantic avenue you are increasing your players' ability to choose a course of action.

In addition, maybe one of the romanceable characters actually has ulterior motives themselves. That cute single spice merchant is actually a spy from an opposing faction looking to seduce your players' Warrior Princess and gather information about what the PC's are doing. If you need ideas on how this might look, watch or read any James Bond story.

Also, consider asking your players what kinds of people their characters might like to romance. Certainly, not everyone can find that Perfect Someone, but asking could help you avoid annoying your players by throwing uninteresting NPC's at them. If all you are throwing at your players are your stereotypical buxom tavern wenches but their characters are more into the wistful Disney Princess type, you are going to have a bad time.


De Arte Honeste Amandi, (Capellanus, c.1180) is a description or codification of the concept of Courtly Love, which was enormously important to mediaeval knights, as anyone who has read about Lancelot and Guinevere knows. The concept has several advantages from an RPG point of view; it requires deeds of valour to prove worthiness (defeating foreigners and winning tournaments in your lady's name were the historical favourites; rescuing her from death or a worse fate was also approved, but difficult to arrange). There are strict rules; Capellanus has thirty, such as "When made public love rarely endures", and the strategems and plans that were allowable to bring two lovers together despite obstacles were carefully defined (bribing the chaperone is allowable, but arranging for her to be kidnapped is not, as it might compromise your lady's honour). And Romance, in this sense, is clearly separated from both marriage and unchastity: the princess (who is, of course, entirely unspotted) will marry whoever her father decides, but may still have a love who wears her favour in the joust and who has an undying passion for her.

It may be that your mediaeval Latin is a bit rusty and you see difficulties in writing rules for this. If so you will be relieved though not surprised to hear that Courtly Love is extensively covered in Chivalry and Sorcery. The various rule- and sourcebooks had several explanations of the concept, culminating in a six-page essay in the 3rd Edition "Knights' Companion" that not only puts the rules in an RPG-compatible form but outlines a system for deciding whether a suitor wins a Lady's favour (depending largely on their respective Romance Factors).


The Diplomacy Skill

Check out the diplomacy rule variant. Its got a table for keeping track of the attitudes NPCs hold towards the PCs. Very good not just for romance, but generally just adding depth to your NPCs.

Obviously an NPC with a lower score on the table towards a character will treat them more poorly than one with a high opinion. Its based on Charisma, but interacting and rolling high with NPCs repeatedly will build up a rapport if you keep at it.

May I suggest the Strings feature from MonsterHearts?

It essentially works like FATE points, which give minor bonuses to rolls and allow for re-rolling. Except the Strings in MonsterHearts represent some sort of strong emotion for a character, romantic in nature.

Getting Strings can be the result of a high diplomacy roll - Strings swing both ways, NPCs can have them to influence PCs and vice versa. NPCs and PCs can barter strings among each-other. This can offer some mechanical incentive to care about the relationships and have them be relevant to the rest of the game.


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