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I'm using planar ally to summon a creature that lets me teleport me and my team of 4 people, one animal companion and 2 undead to a city roughly 600 miles away. What is the lowest HD outsider that I can summon with teleportation abilities?

All legal 3.5 books are allowed, dragon magazine is allowed but preferably not used.

P.S We only have 2 type 1 bag of holdings. One of the undead and one of the animal companions weighs around 2000 each. The 2000lbs dire boar zombie isn't a necessity though, just an added bonus.

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    \$\begingroup\$ Out of curiosity, what IS the alignment of your Cleric (assuming you are a Cleric casting normally)? I'm interested because technically you can't call an outsider opposite your alignment as that would violate your alignment based spellcasting restrictions. \$\endgroup\$ – the dark wanderer Jan 30 '17 at 7:23
  • \$\begingroup\$ I myself is true netural, but we have a cleric in the party ignoring summoning restrictions. \$\endgroup\$ – Simon Jan 30 '17 at 13:23
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Not sure if it's the lowest, but at 6HD a Bar-Lgura demon (Fiendish Codex 1) can use Greater Teleport at will, and unlike most tanar'ri, it can use it on other creatures as well (including unwilling ones).

Unfortunately, it can only get 1 large creature or 2 medium or smaller ones in one go. However, since it can use it at will, it can bring everyone over over the course of five rounds.

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A lantern archon (Monster Manual 16) has the archon trait teleport, a supernatural ability allowing it to "use greater teleport at will, as the spell (caster level 14th), except that the creature can transport only itself and up to 50 pounds of objects." A lantern archon has 1 Hit Die.

A bag of holding (type III) (7,400 gp; 35 lbs.) holds 1,000 lbs. (probably enough for the four Medium or Small creatures and their undead assistants depending on what kind of undead assistants they are). The bag is well within a lantern archon's teleport trait weight limit unless the lantern archon is otherwise burdened by whatever gear the DM determines a lantern archon totes around (e.g. snacks, a guitar, lamp oil). Wiggling into a bag and letting someone else do the teleporting is legit, although trust is a necessity.

The 1st-level Sor/Wiz spell reduce person [trans] (PH 269) et al. will vastly increase the bag's ability to tote the party. Just don't overstay and exhaust the bag's 10 min. of air. However, this method transportation does require PCs to accept that sometimes being an adventurer is a bit humiliating.

Outside the core rules, instead of the bag of holding and at less than ¼ the price of a portable hole (DMG 264) (20,000 gp; 0 lbs.), the 50-ft.-deep enveloping pit (Magic Item Compendium 159) (3,600 gp; 0 lbs.) can accommodate a small army (okay, a Tiny army) and should be more than sufficient for the entire party—including the party's 2 1,000-lb. undead hangers-on—for the few minutes it needs to teleport. While it's one of the game's best magic items at the price, employing the pit at all usually mandates a LE, LN, or NE alignment, but this requirement can be bypassed with a successful Use Magic Device skill check to emulate an alignment (DC 30). It can be challenging to succeed on such a check, but even a little optimization should make success possible.

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  • \$\begingroup\$ Actually, I've got one better: cast "shrink item" on person, turn into a cloth version (I know technically a person isn't an item, but still...) . \$\endgroup\$ – Jesse Cohoon Jan 29 '17 at 20:45
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    \$\begingroup\$ I can't support arbitrarily changing the spell shrink item's target entry so that the spell affects a living creature, but a combination of the 1st-level Clr spell painless death [necro] (Ghostwalk 56), the 5th-level Clr spell revivify [conj] (Spell Compendium 176), and the 6th-level Clr spell secure corpse [necro] (Book of Exalted Deeds 106-7), while complicated and expensive, kills a creature, preserves its body in a holy symbol, and when it's brought back from the dead it's largely no worse for the experience. (Also see here.) \$\endgroup\$ – Hey I Can Chan Jan 29 '17 at 21:39
  • \$\begingroup\$ While this would work, the two undead weigh over 1000 lbs and we do not have a bag of holding that size either, but good answer non-theless \$\endgroup\$ – Simon Feb 1 '17 at 17:42
  • \$\begingroup\$ @Simon My apologies for assuming, like, typical warrior skeletons, but a solvable problem anyway. Consider updating the question with that information. \$\endgroup\$ – Hey I Can Chan Feb 1 '17 at 18:15
  • \$\begingroup\$ Yeah, I'm gonna update that we don't have a large bag of holding on us, as well as the max weight of our teams partymembers. \$\endgroup\$ – Simon Feb 2 '17 at 4:24
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You might be able to do better than a Lantern Archon with a Fiendish Familiar (Fiend Folio page 219), which has 1/2 HD. The creature is a symbiont that attaches itself to evil spellcasters and dramatically enhances their spellcasting abilities. Unfortunately, while symbionts get a slightly broader version of share spells, you still will only get the familiar and not the master when you summon one. On its own it's basically helpless and can't move, attack, or do basically anything besides talk. However, when ending the planar ally spell, the creature gets to return home and at that point could presumably attempt to convince its master to come by and do your teleportation work for you. It's worth noting that called creatures really die when they are killed so the fiendish familiar will likely not take too much convincing to really really want you to think it will do what you want. Whether or not it actually does so, and whether or not the evil mage it was attached to (who is presumably not too happy with suddenly loosing 1 spell per spell level and 2 stat points in their primary stat, not to mention an appx 2' by 2' patch of skin and underlying flesh) actually is persuaded to help you out and whether or not said mage is even capable of casting teleport are not guaranteed.

Note that this spell gets you a servant of your deity so depending on your overlord forcibly ripping one of its servants off of another one and then torturing/threatening it in an attempt to convince it to force the second servant to do your bidding all in the hopes of saving yourself a couple thousand gold pieces is probably either going to get you ex-cleric-ed and dead or mega-bonus-evil-points. But, hey, either way you're almost certain to get some attention ;)

If not, a Lantern Archon definitely works. Most Clerics probably have access to one or the other but not both. The Good route requires humility and trust and is a little more expensive, and the Evil route requires power and ruthlessness and has bad long-term consequences (evil mages who have a grudge).

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