I'm currently in my second campaign and have come across something specific to a person in my group. Ill call them the selfish individual.

The selfish individual is prone to things like:

  • Butting in and shouting "I LOOT THE CORPSE" when on the other side of the room, and not the PC who opened the chest, or walked up to the corpse to rummage and search for items. Also prone to completely taking charge of a situation where my character is currently in conversation with a NPC. Generally with the self entitlement coming from playing longer. In which has resulted in him getting items good for others (or just as good) instead of the proper process of whoever was actually looting.

    ME:"I walk into the room and look around"

    DM: You see....... and a corpse clutching a wrapped bundle

    ME: "I walk to the corpse, and investigate"....

    DM: You see no sign of traps etc.

    ME "I grab the bundle an......"

    Selfish individual: "I LOOT THE CORPSE!!!!!"

  • Maintaining the persistence to be as"unique" as possible with his mode of actions, so ALWAYS digging a hole to run away, everything is about digging a hole, where all those encounters would have been a lot smoother if no hole had been dug, it saved us once, and only once, because our brilliant DM was not going to let something silly always save us from everything.

  • Telling the DM what to do after something makes him feel mistreated or unfairly treated (even though its ALWAYS a part of the game), regardless of what it may be. For example, i obtained a bird early on in the campaign, and have put so much effort into looking after this injured bird long after recovery, that the DM made the decision to give it to me as a companion(basically as useless as the most useless bird in the monster lists, and one i would never use for combat). His annoyance at that because he apparently put so much effort into his class featured companion. Now i must roll animal handling on EVERYTHING to do with this bird, even though it now apparently loves me.

So a decent bit of my issue is that he stops our DM from having any discretion about anything in the game. And in end he is a PC and controlling the DM.

I find it hard to sit there with a group and make a statement about that because it will definitely upset him and he will go all angry about everything, and when that player is the DMs best friend...

As a new player, am I not understanding some stuff about D&D that is making me get annoyed with this? or is this something many people come across, and its just the person in the group?

I do let everything go, and just move on... but its actually pissing me off really badly now.

  • 3
    \$\begingroup\$ Related to the first point: Punishing a player for instant-actioning and Is it appropriate to punish a PC who snatches things from under the other PCs?, though both are from a GM perspective. \$\endgroup\$ Commented Feb 10, 2017 at 12:39
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    \$\begingroup\$ OK, before I hazard an answer, can you please provide the age of you, the player, and the DM? As I've DM'd and played with people with ages ranging from 10 to 65, having that bit of info would influence the answer. Also, what is the total number of players in your party? \$\endgroup\$ Commented Feb 10, 2017 at 14:16
  • 1
    \$\begingroup\$ personally I in game would brutally attack and maul said character in a fit of berserker fury, assuming there are no rules against attacking party members in fits of justifiable homicide. \$\endgroup\$ Commented Feb 10, 2017 at 22:27

2 Answers 2


Your problem here isn't primarily the selfish individual, but the GM who is letting his out-of-game best friend run roughshod over the game. You need to talk to the GM, first, about how the game is starting to not be fun, then (likely) talk to the GM and the problem player about why.

Be prepared, though; this is probably a lead-up to quitting the group and finding another group to play with. You should assess whether it's worth the conflict to try to stay with this group, or if it's easier to just find another group.

  • 1
    \$\begingroup\$ Yes, most of it is on the DM. The hole-digging issue though sounds like a typical case of "My Guy"ness, where insistence on character traits is detrimental to the group's fun. At least if his hole-digging leads to ingame complications - if it just takes an awful lot of time each time, it's another DM issue: He should make that really quick with "OK, you dig a hole as always, where? Alright, done. Meanwhile...". Be careful with accusations though - if the DM is inexperienced, maybe he's heeding the experienced selfish player in need of orientation, without malicious intent. \$\endgroup\$ Commented Feb 10, 2017 at 12:41
  • \$\begingroup\$ @xNGTMx "if the DM is inexperienced, maybe he's heeding the experienced selfish player in need of orientation, without malicious intent." -- hence why I suggested talking to the GM first. \$\endgroup\$
    – Zeiss Ikon
    Commented Feb 10, 2017 at 12:50
  • \$\begingroup\$ That's a good point about the experience of the dm. I'd just like to emphasize that this is something that is only going to get worse. Let them know how you feel, and explain yourself to them. Bottom line is that Dnd is a communal effort. It's not just the two of them playing. I'll bet that the other players aside from you have been annoyed by this as well. I've played campaigns that have gone down the tubes because this sort of thing wasn't nipped in the bud early on. Talking to them now will either sort it out, or reveal that this was always going to happen at some point. \$\endgroup\$ Commented Feb 10, 2017 at 13:15
  • \$\begingroup\$ Note that the OP doesn't specify the DM's gender; I think it's our implicit gender biases that make us assume (without even realizing) that the DM is male. \$\endgroup\$
    – user31662
    Commented Feb 11, 2017 at 6:30
  • \$\begingroup\$ An old convention in English language writing (now falling out of favor, but I'm no teenager) is to use masculine pronouns in generic situations. Seeing "his" need not definitely imply an assumption of a male DM, and I don't see how the DM's gender matters here. \$\endgroup\$
    – Zeiss Ikon
    Commented Feb 12, 2017 at 11:22

Zeiss is right, this isn't a problem with just the player. The GM is equally at fault for allowing this to happen. So I totally upvote that answer. Talk to the GM first, alone if possible or at least without the disruptive player. Then talk alone/without the GM to the disruptive player. However unlikely, there's a chance the player really doesn't get how rude and disruptive they are being. It is worth trying, at least.

Have the other players expressed anything about this behavior? Surely he's not being a jerk just to you, right?

Now, in your specific "I LOOT THE CORPSE!" example, you could do something like:

Since I'm closer to the corpse (having already started investigating it), I block his efforts...

Or the "I dig a hole!" with:

You can dig X cubic feet of soil per hour. How many hours do you spend?


I thought this dungeon had stone floors?

But that could easily turn into player vs player / PC vs PC fighting. And isn't really treating the issue at hand, but just one of the symptoms.


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