117

Start by assuming the best in others. This is a helpful attitude to maintain when you want to make peace out of conflict. The first step in resolving this conflict should not be "How do I convince them they are wrong?". Rather, we should first try to see if we are misunderstanding them when they are actually trying to help. Allow me to explain a ...


105

We have only your description of the situation to go by, and therefore we can't fully know the situation. However, what I gather from your description is that your behavior is a very significant part of this problem. You are enforcing your own tone on the game For starters, I recommend you to read about My Guy Syndrome, because it sounds like a significant ...


91

It is not metagaming and you should say so. Metagaming is using outside (metagame) knowledge of yours to inform your character's decisions. If you don't know the module you do not a priori have any relevant outside knowledge on that module that the others do not so you cannot metagame the way you are accused of any more than the others can. If you had read ...


78

Elton John. George Michael. Sir Ian McKellen. Stephen Fry. Jeffrey Dahmer. Andy Warhol. George Takei. All of those people have completely different personalities. All of them are gay. "Straight Male" is not a Personality Trait. "Flirts with every attractive female they see" is. "Gay Male" is not a Personality Trait. &...


62

I am fairly newish to D&D. Our group plays every week and I have been a GM before. My character is fairly chill, chaotic neutral I very nearly stopped reading right there, literally at that exact point mid-sentence. Chaotic neutral alignment is infamous for being the primary classic excuse some people use for why their character causing problems for the ...


59

Put a real-life time limit on the discussions. Waiting to get in at the gate? Great, the party is Xth in line. Every few minutes, do something to indicate that the line has moved up, it's important that they both know that it's happening, and that they have a visual reference to represent it, both because they can't be expected to remember it, and also ...


54

This does sound like a disagreement over the rules and can probably be fixed by relocating relevant information on the character sheet. You say you don't want answers that say "That's not how personality traits work", but it sounds like the entire issue is that you and L view how personality traits work differently. It doesn't even come down to ...


49

Leave. Your question basically answers itself. Let's go over the main points: D&D is usually a combat focused game. Because your character is significantly behind in levels, you are unable to fully participate in combat. Outside of combat, or when you try something creative, you are mocked for it. The DM shows favoritism to one or more other players....


48

Evidently Not One of the cardinal, if often unspoken, laws of gaming is that if you can't get people to play with you, then you can't play. If you can't get people to play with you whenever you bring that character in, then, no, you can't play that character at least with that group. If your read on the situation is correct, your group has a problem with ...


47

This Is Absolutely Almost Certainly Not Metagaming Taking you at your word that you've never read or played this module (and I do believe you-- I have no reason not to) then this is not metagaming and you've done nothing wrong. Meta-gaming, very tersely defined, is the inappropriate application of player knowledge to guide character actions. Usually, people ...


43

First, let me say I commend you for playing with your daughters that young — I GMed for my daughters, but not at that early age. From their perspective, if Parent says this is a fantasy game, and I can do what I want, why is Parent not letting me do what I want? Natural sibling rivalry and age-appropriate selfishness may encourage them to value achieving ...


39

The character is probably done. You have a large, collaborative, decentralized group. No one feels, or has felt, empowered to confront you over this—they have, no doubt, felt that it isn’t their place to criticize you or your character. Instead, they’re voting with their feet—which is, in this hobby, more-or-less “the nuclear option.” Which means it almost ...


38

You either: Give them options and then tell them they have to unanimously choose one in order to play (e.g. vote for as many of these as you'll do: as long as it takes for the slowest player, one round per hour/day/whatever, synchronous session), and it's their problem to decide not yours, or Run on the cadence you want and tell them they can like it or ...


38

Sounds like your friend thought he would like this particular type of tabletop roleplaying game, but then realized he didn't actually like it. It happens, and at some point your group will realize that this isn't the kind of game that will make all of you happy. It wouldn't be the first time someone got hooked on the idea of this type of game, only to ...


37

Communicate. The only way to solve this kind of problem is to communicate with the people who are giving you trouble. You should do this one-on-one, not during a session. Give them respect and demand it for yourself. A few pointers. Assume they mean well... mostly. A fair amount of these trespasses could be well-intentioned. These players are veterans of the ...


36

I would frame the problem differently: that the players are too afraid of failure. The long discussion is likely because they want a plan that is perfectly safe; every point of failure addressed; no risk. Going forward with a plan that hasn't necessarily been completely thought through -- that might even fail and spiral into chaos -- is a good roleplaying ...


32

Being born in a brothel isn't a big issue. It's a popular edgy background as it means no family ties. It even has a trope name. and isn't something that normally causes massive issues. People do it because families cause drama. Them wanting sex with strangers, talking about child sex a lot, and attacking you is more of an issue. PvP is drama filled, child ...


31

The problem isn't the group, nor your character ... ... but rather your choice to have your fun at the expense of their fun. Your character can only make decisions and choices because you, the player, make decisions and choices. You are not required to make a choice because of the dodge that goes along the line of 'that's what my player would do.' That ...


30

Time to teach the table about metagaming. You aren't doing metagaming. Introduce them to this post about metagaming. Point out that every die roll is a meta game activity; none of the characters "in-world" see a d4 roll for dagger thrusts, nor do they see a d20 roll by when making a saving throw. Also have them look up how Bardic Inspiration and ...


23

You've written: Often we'll experience moments where the session will come to a complete pause as the player characters argue over what to do. and then: At this point I've started to continue the events as they're arguing and this usually puts them in a bad way. My first recommendation is: don't "continue the events while they're arguing". If ...


22

Follow The Rules Your description says that players "have final say over what they do and don't do, subject to the rules of the game." In two of your examples (Xaratron stabbing and John casting), presumably your game system has some sort of mechanic in place for how to resolve an attempted stabbing, or how to resolve the effects of charm person. ...


21

You have the final say, and can say no. Your DM seems to be mixing up their in-game authority and their real-life authority. Within the fiction of your Dungeons & Dragons games, the DM can do virtually whatever, because the game structure gives them unlimited narrative control. However, this authority does not apply outside the game narrative, and the ...


20

In the real world, time waits for no-one. You were on to something there with the guards growing suspicious and making them move elsewhere. But moving away has its downsides, too. They're farther away from their goal, and if something happens at the target location, they're not there to prevent or respond to it. Don't hesitate to penalize them for wasting ...


20

Lemon has the correct interpretation of the rules. Simply put, you're wrong, and he's right, and I think that the best way for you to deal with that is to think about what the rules actually are and why they were designed that way. Details about gender and sexuality go under the part of your sheet labelled "Gender". Details about Personality Traits ...


20

You need to get rid of the character some way or the other Nothing will help. Your character, as it is right now, is irredeemably gone. You can't fix her in-game because nobody wants to play with the character anymore, so you're past the point of starting a growing-up/redemption arc now. [Sole chance out: you sit down with everyone and apologize for making ...


19

The issue is a non-issue for the game, but an issue for the group You stated that the DMs at your table don't use the personality traits as plot hooks or for anything related to DMing. Because of that, there is absolutely no reason why the DM needs to have a say in what's in there. And that also seems to suggest that the issue is larger than you may think. ...


19

Your group is suffering from a blurring of the lines between in-game strife and real-world strife. Within the game, your character is acting annoying (playing pranks on the other PCs, sometimes doing things that could endanger their lives). Their characters are getting annoyed at your character as a result, which is realistic. This could be OK, but it can ...


18

So many little things AL Rules First off, you say that the DM is "having us play a combination of I think 2 modules that take place in Faerun and using AL rules." But, "the other party members are level 7 or 8 and each character I've brought starts at level 1". Yes, in AL, you always start at level 1 (Tier 1) so that make sense. But you ...


18

Preface To be honest, I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why a DM/GM would be against almost anything in the personality/background section of the character sheet. Short of conquests that a level 1 (or whatever level they start at) couldn't have created, uses items/concepts not in that world or something that lends itself to a lot cheese in a non-...


17

This is something to discuss before and during the game I'm going to approach this from a bit of a different angle than the other answers: you need more meta thinking, not less. At very least you need to consider the meta-game concept of "will my fellow players like it if I do this". The role-playing game scene borrows heavily from popular genres ...


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