312

It's pretty reasonable you're annoyed. One of your fellow players secretly plotted to kill your character for revenge (and it worked), the DM - the one guy you pretty much have to be able to trust - was in on it, and your fellow players offered you no emotional support at a point when you clearly needed it and instead made things worse for you. People have ...


182

Unfortunately, all the group behaviours you've identified are either death-seeky or problematic. Use these interactions as teachable moments instead of problems which can simply be wished away. In all cases, a quiet discussion over a hot beverage of your choice After game time may allow your DM to impart his wisdom and/or to express your concerns with the ...


161

One, don’t “stand up for” anybody without talking to them first It’s possible that this is someone who doesn’t know how to stand up for herself, and will appreciate the assistance. Far more likely, however, it will just humiliate and anger her—“standing up for her” without talking to her first is condescending (implies she cannot manage for herself) and ...


152

Tell him the truth, because that's what friends do Sometimes, talking around or avoiding an issue increases trouble, rather than decreasing it. This looks to be a case of that happening. You said this in a comment. The main thing is, the DM is a good guy, but his girlfriend is adding some complications to the group because he is understandably ...


144

A DM should not think of himself as having the right of Rule 0, which is why he controls the game. A DM should instead think of himself as having the responsibility of controling the game, and therefore being given the tool of Rule 0 in order to do so. Because ultimately, that is what Rule 0 is: a tool given to the DM to keep the game fun, engaging, and ...


136

Find better friend(s) From what you said, Bob is an obnoxious toxic character. Do not role play with him and ditch him as a friend. The rest of the players are bad friends for not standing up for OP, although it could be excused. Life is too short to waste on this. I get that you want revenge but really it is not worth it. Act like the grown up in the ...


131

I think I'm going to have to Frame Challenge this question. Based only on how you described the combat and outcome, it doesn't really seem like the DM did anything wrong. It seems much more strongly like the players are to blame, because of a collective case of My Guy Syndrome. Now, the DM has some culpability: to some degree, it's necessary for the DM to ...


118

Run. Quickly and nimbly. Run Seriously. Run. 4e is a game that thrives on balance. The first clue for me that something was messed up with your group was your DM requiring PHB1. Those rules are frightful and have been replaced with much newer, nicer and shinier rules. The second clue that something was wrong was the outburst about getting bogged down by ...


116

Can a DM change their mind on the requirements for a roll after the roll has already been made? Yes; they're the DM, there really isn't anything you can do to force the DM to accept the original roll. Should a DM change their mind on the requirements for a roll after the roll has already been made? No; especially not when it was a good roll - that's just ...


105

I certainly wouldn’t stand for it. Being the odd-man-out in that kind of situation should be an opportunity for interesting roleplay and add characterization to your character, your allies, and the NPCs, based on how they handle it. But it sounds like you were completely side-lined the entire time and prevented from doing that roleplay. If you aren&...


105

"We can't talk to this player. So I don't know what to do." I think you just took away most people's #1 answer. If you can't talk to someone about issues, and you can't remove them from the game, then your choices are reduced to 1) Stay, or 2) Leave. Stay. If the overall fun outweighs the annoying bits, then stay. Ignore the behavior as much as possible, ...


101

Yes, that was fine. You're the DM: you're there to challenge them and put them in danger, not to keep them all safe. A lot of this comes down to the kind of game you all play. Statements like "dice rolls should never kill a character" or "you should never have hidden enemies" are total BS. Those are valid agreed-upon social contract items for your group, ...


101

Don't "call them out", it's about Communication As with most interpersonal issues, the focus should be on communication. You can absolutely talk with your DM about it, but you should talk to the other player first. The concerned player Right now, you haven't talked directly about this concern with the affected party. Before you do anything, you should do ...


99

The limit to Rule Zero is what the players are willing to accept. It's that simple. Unless you can convince him to change what he's doing, your only option is to walk away.


99

So, how do I get out of the vicious circle? Stop doing the thing that's causing it. You diagnosed this yourself: It's probably the worst issue I have as a Game Master, I think of a Game, I write a campaign plot for it, End, Beggining and Middle, get Hyped, Hype my players, and after 2 months I want the story to end, and it's usually too late to make ...


99

Yes. You should leave. These people are not respectful, and are not worth your time. Tell your brother you're not interested, and stop joining the call — he's the only person you have actual contact with, and given the behaviour of the rest of the group you're best cutting ties with them completely. (Who would want friends like that?) You could ...


95

So a DM is given the tool of “Rule 0,” the authority to change things in the game, for a very particular purpose: to facilitate and improve the game. Thus, banning a weapon can be justified for a variety of reasons, for example: It is justified if the game is intended to model a certain setting that wouldn’t have had that weapon; the DM is using his ...


90

Like this Life is too short to play games with poor sports. If their leaving causes others to leave, don't worry, its a big wide world out there full of gamers who are not poor sports.


89

The way to talk to the GM is that you sit down and talk with him. In a non-accusatory tone, you explain the way you've thought/felt playing in the game and ask him to explain what the expectations are. You might all even use the Same Page Tool to gather a shared understanding of the type of game you're playing. However, speaking as another D&D DM with ...


85

Yes, your DM can veto it. No, your DM shouldn't veto it. While the DM has last say over anything the rules don't cover, or even house rules he wants in the game, he doesn't play D&D alone. DM and players should co-operate so that everyone has fun doing what they want with the characters, system and setting. In that spirit, you should talk to him and ...


82

Talk to him, preferably as a group This is really the only solution besides "Bail on the game." They key here is to be respectful, polite, and try to handle this like friends. "Confront" is not the approach you are looking for here. "Discuss" would be better. You want to approach this from the standpoint of mutual improvement of the game, not of "You are a ...


80

Talk to the DM Give non-accusatory feedback Express your point of view using neutral language and I statements. E.g. "When the encounter with 9 ogres ended in the death of all the characters, I felt helpless and it was not fun for me." Ask for feedback. Ask them if there were alternative endings they had in mind. It can take a while to get in sync with ...


78

Other answers have already dealt capably with your question: Can DM's force skill checks? Yes. Should they do so? Maybe - maybe not. But, it appears to me that your real issue may not be the skill check itself, it's how the DM dictated your character's response to it. You said: Last session, my DM made me roll a Deception check against another player. I ...


78

I'm just going to rip the band-aid off: Find a new GM. This is weird, off-putting, more than a little creepy ("What's your fixation with stealing our clothes, dude?"), borderline abusive, and probably more descriptors in that vein. A lot of the ways players and GMs can get crosswise with each other involve mis-calibrating or misunderstanding what the ...


76

Can the GM ban references? Yes. Specifically, "the D&D rules help you and the other players have a good time, but the rules aren't in charge. You're the DM, and you are in charge of the game." (DMG p.4, "The Dungeon Master," emphasis in original.) That being said... This is strange, as presented. In nigh-thirty years playing I've not run across a GM ...


72

The only rule for this that I'm aware of is the one you're already using: you can make a listen check at a -10 penalty and you wake up if you succeed. My group, and most other groups, interpret this rule to mean that you make this listen check to wake up in response to noise. If something jostles you, you still automatically wake up regardless of what you ...


67

I'd encourage you to read the Five Geek Social Fallacies essay (honestly it should be mandatory reading for all RPGers). It discusses five beliefs that cause geeks a lot of grief: Ostracisers Are Evil Friends Accept Me As I Am Friendship Before All Friendship Is Transitive Friends Do Everything Together All five of them are relevant to the situation you ...


66

In Writing? First, I can assure you that this question gives a thorough and rather objective explanation of the problem. So, if you can communicate this way in writing, perhaps that is best way to deal with your GM? Also, surely as your friend, Bob understands your social struggle and would make some allowances in tone for you? I can also assert that ...


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