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237 votes

Dealing with difficult male players, when you're a new female player?

These people are toxic. You don't need to resist them in-game, you need to leave. He makes a point of it by calling me 'it' in real life, as, according to him, my unusual name isn't really a name ...
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185 votes

Dealing with difficult male players, when you're a new female player?

You have more power than you think. Set boundaries in advance, and establish the consequences for violation. Don't be afraid to walk out if harm is occurring. Discuss your concerns before game play, ...
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175 votes
Accepted

Dealing with difficult male players, when you're a new female player?

The players you have described sound horrific. D&D can be a great game, but any game could be spoiled by players like these. Avoiding the game entirely, as Rylee Fowler suggests, is the safest ...
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167 votes
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As a player, I am approaching a situation where "My Guy" syndrome seems inevitable and almost appropriate. What can I do to soften any problems?

First, you're off the hook for "My Guy" syndrome - this is clearly a conflict the GM orchestrated. "My Guy" happens when a player decides to use his character to justify derailing the plot, but ...
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  • 1,930
131 votes
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As the Dungeon Master, how do I handle a player that insists on a specific class when I already know that choice will cause issues?

The class played doesn’t matter, and arguing about it only hurts your position This situation really, really wouldn’t be any better if she was playing a sorcerer. If she ignores her prepared spells, ...
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  • 323k
129 votes

Dealing with difficult male players, when you're a new female player?

Don't play with people who make you uncomfortable. The fundamental issue is that the group has a couple meanie-face jerkheads (feel free to insert a much more vitriolic phrase of your choosing) who ...
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  • 2,864
121 votes
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What do I do about a prescriptive GM/player who argues that gender and sexuality aren’t personality traits?

Start by assuming the best in others. This is a helpful attitude to maintain when you want to make peace out of conflict. The first step in resolving this conflict should not be "How do I ...
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116 votes

Best way to kill a problematic fellow player character?

The obvious solution would be to go to the authorities (the city guard?) with your evidence. They're certainly searching for the villain who burned down all those inns and killed all those people. ...
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109 votes

What can I do about the guys being distracted by a new girl in D&D group?

[Note: When I wrote this answer, the detail about attempted sexual assault was not part of the question. If the mods allow, I'd like this answer to stand as is with the caveat that my answer below ...
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  • 7,028
101 votes
Accepted

How should I deal with a difficult group and a DM that doesn't help?

Yes. You should leave. These people are not respectful, and are not worth your time. Tell your brother you're not interested, and stop joining the call — he's the only person you have actual ...
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95 votes

As the Dungeon Master, how do I handle a player that insists on a specific class when I already know that choice will cause issues?

Disclaimer: After some concerns regarding copyright, I felt a bit bad about the previous images I was using. I replaced it by one I made with using PowerPoint and crayons. This looks like a job for a ...
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94 votes
Accepted

How do I avoid lecturing my players

Make the townsfolk afraid of them, too. In short: have the NPCs react like real people. It's a small town. People talk. People are going to notice the destroyed door, and others may have been drawn to ...
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93 votes
Accepted

Player may be manipulating die rolls, but I'm uncertain. How do I approach the situation?

Use a Rolling Tray I don't want to accuse someone of cheating if they were not, but I also don't want cheating to continue if it is in fact occurring Since another player has already mentioned ...
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82 votes

What do I do about a prescriptive GM/player who argues that gender and sexuality aren’t personality traits?

Elton John. George Michael. Sir Ian McKellen. Stephen Fry. Jeffrey Dahmer. Andy Warhol. George Takei. All of those people have completely different personalities. All of them are gay. "...
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  • 1,106
79 votes

As a player, I am approaching a situation where "My Guy" syndrome seems inevitable and almost appropriate. What can I do to soften any problems?

Roleplaying and roleplaying conflict are not My Guy Syndrome "My Guy" syndrome is often misused as a term. It's when following your idea of your character's persona creates insurmountable ...
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  • 173k
78 votes
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A fellow player does not want me to roleplay, what do I do?

It sounds like your fellow roleplayer just wants you to be verbally clear about what exactly you're doing mechanically without just pointing to a thing on your character sheet. It doesn't sound like ...
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74 votes

How do I deal with this very annoying teammate who engages in player versus player combat?

“This behavior is ruining the game for me.” This sounds very not fun. Your friend needs to understand this. This is an out-of-game conversation that needs to be had. You need to cordially explain to ...
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73 votes

8 hour sessions require a meal! How can we incorporate meal breaks into the game itself?

I'm going to take a radical position and suggest that eight hours is a long time to roleplay without a break from playing a role in any case, and that the meal-as-a-break may actually be a welcome ...
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  • 2,082
72 votes
Accepted

Can a D&D campaign be successfully used as a Sunday school teaching instrument?

I'm trained in conducting faith-based lessons for children focused on morality and virtues, in facilitating spiritual empowerment programs for junior youth, and in tutoring youth engaged in service-...
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72 votes
Accepted

Accepting criticism as a DM

You've written: So, the members are entirely ready to retract their criticism if I can convince them that it's not valid As a DM, I think about things a bit differently. If someone tells me: "I'm ...
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  • 79.2k
68 votes

How can I tell if I am a problem player?

There is no universal 'Problem Player' What might be a problem at my table may not be a problem at yours. The same goes for different games, as well as different systems (the expected play in DnD is ...
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  • 21.2k
66 votes
Accepted

My DM asked me to stop roleplaying hostility toward another PC, but it fits my character

You may be encountering My Guy Syndrome. There is a fine line between role playing in depth and falling into "My Guy Syndrome" where the cooperative fun at the table between players is influenced in ...
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63 votes

Player may be manipulating die rolls, but I'm uncertain. How do I approach the situation?

Talk to your players Seriously. This is the very first step. Do not accuse anyone, just talk. There may be many reasons for cheating on dice: Failed roll ruined otherwise good plan that had 90% ...
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62 votes
Accepted

What do I roll for seduction?

There is no set skill for seduction. It's going to fall back to a discussion between you and your DM on which ones you feel appropriate, with the DM having the final say. Personally, I don't think ...
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  • 2,780
61 votes

Using a rash decision to move gameplay forward

You have two problems: an agency problem and a knowledge problem. Agency The likely reason why your players weren't all happy with the outcome of the situation you describe is because you took away ...
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  • 21.2k
59 votes
Accepted

How can I convince my DM that my diplomacy will work on his characters?

Explain to him that "NPC" is not a derrogatory term It seems to me you're already trying to do exactly this. You are, of course, entirely correct in that "NPC" means "Non-...
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  • 7,608
59 votes
Accepted

How do I deal with being envious of my own players?

If you are not having fun as the GM, maybe its time to pass the torch. When I started playing D&D, the person GMing was really good at it, but did not enjoy it. One day after the session was ...
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  • 4,232
57 votes

What do I do about a prescriptive GM/player who argues that gender and sexuality aren’t personality traits?

This does sound like a disagreement over the rules and can probably be fixed by relocating relevant information on the character sheet. You say you don't want answers that say "That's not how ...
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56 votes
Accepted

What are my options when other members of the party think my character is too powerful?

Metagaming First, lets kill the metagaming ad hominem: "Metagaming is any strategy, action or method used in a game which transcends a prescribed ruleset, uses external factors to affect the game, or ...
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  • 191k
54 votes
Accepted

As a DM, is it improper of me to flirt with one of my players "off the clock"?

tl;dr: Tread carefully and don't be creepy. (I think this belongs more on interpersonal.SE, and relatedly recommend reading this, but I also realized I have relevant experience so I'm going to answer ...
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  • 21.2k

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