Take a page from the book of successful employees at large, professional companies at review time:

Don't ask what you're doing wrong, ask (typically the GM) what you can do to improve.

This is such an obvious move that it's not even remotely slick any more. It's actually pretty transparent. But in my experience, if the person you're asking is capable of being moved into a more positive discussion stance, this will probably do the trick. The thing is, while it can act as an ice-breaker and let you ask (further in the conversation) some more detailed question, like, "When I do X and Y, is that overdoing it?" it also is an open invitation for the GM to give you any feedback he or she wants to give you. Which means you need to be ready to hear it and, if possible and not unreasonable, act on it. You might end up with commentary that seems light-years away from what you thought you wanted to discuss.

I don't generally do this very often, because it does require a certain level of rapport with the GM in the first place. But on the occasions I have done so, it's been a mostly positive experience. (I say "mostly" because I once ended up with a pretty bracing criticism of something I hadn't even considered. After thinking about it, the critique was correct and useful, and I was able to correct course. But it wasn't easy to hear.)

Take a page from the book of successful employees at large, professional companies at review time:

Don't ask what you're doing wrong, ask (typically the GM) what you can do to improve.

This is such an obvious move that it's not even remotely slick any more. It's actually pretty transparent. But in my experience, if the person you're asking is capable of being moved into a more positive discussion stance, this will probably do the trick. The thing is, while it can act as an ice-breaker and let you ask (further in the conversation) some more detailed question, like, "When I do X and Y, is that overdoing it?" it also is an open invitation for the GM to give you any feedback he or she wants to give you. Which means you need to be ready to hear it and, if possible and not unreasonable, act on it. You might end up with commentary that seems light-years away from what you thought you wanted to discuss.

I don't generally do this very often, because it does require a certain level of rapport with the GM in the first place. But on the occasions I have done so, it's been a mostly positive experience. (I say "mostly" because I once ended up with a pretty bracing criticism of something I hadn't even considered. After thinking about it, the critique was correct and useful, and I was able to correct course. But it wasn't easy to hear.)