Teaching good sportsmanship has beenYou asked how a problem since, wellDM would do it, but you're not the first OlympicsDM
It appears what you're really asking is, "I'm frustrated that our DM doesn't expect players to act or behave as their characters and appropriately hold them accountable by checks against stats." There are two ways for me to interpret this:
You're looking for a method your DM can use to encourage players to act their part.
You're looking for a way to politely invite your DM to be a better DM.
Part I: A method your DM can use
It's uncommon for people outside of athletics to thin in terms of sportsmanship. However, the concept of sportsmanship is relevant to every team or group activity. Everyone is expected to play well together. Unfortunately, teaching good sportsmanship has been a problem since, well, the first Olympics. Ultimately, poor sportsmanship is harmful to game morale as, in the back of everyone else's heads, its tolerance is always perceived as a form of favoritism.
In this specific case, your DM needs to help a player understand that (a) not paying attention to his/her character stats or (b) intentionally using his/her own personal skills to unfairly bolster his/her character stats is poor sportsmanship.
One way I did itthis, because the player was being a bit of a jerk about it, was that I rolled the dice while keeping my eyes fixed on his and said "you failed the check." He didn't catch on the first time. After rolling the dice blindly, staring into his eyes, and repeating the phrase "you failed" a couple more times, he finally caught onto the fact that he was being a bad actor and a bad sport. We were all friends, no offense was taken, we all laughed about it — but he also started acting according to his character stats.
What too many players don't realize is that sportsmanship is one of the more important aspects of any RPG - and regrettably (even though the "solution" I mentioned above worked for the one person I did it to), there's no one perfect way to help a player realize they're being a poor sport. But it is important for the DM to find a way of both managing the game and managing the players, or players walk away from the experience disappointed or discouraged.
If bad really getsPart II: Training your DM
However, the problem might not be that your DM is unskilled, but is unobservant or oblivious to uglythe problem. Referring any RPG is complex. There are...
- hundreds (if not thousands) of rules to remember,
- the details of the campaign (past, present, and future) to remember,
- the intended atmosphere or ambiance to remember,
- all of the character attributes to remember,
- and the very human characteristics of your players to remember.
Honestly, and ifwhen you have children,sit down and think about how you teach themit, it's awe-inspiring what a DM needs to be good sports on the localdo and little leaguewonder that DMs need experience to do it well. Then use It's not all that same technique on your playeruncommon that a DM needs reminding to not forget something. The player and your kids may be If this is the issue you're asking about, then I recommend the same level of maturityfollowing based on how people treated me when I was DMing.
Pull people aside before or after the game to talk to them. Public complaints, no matter how well intended or politely delivered, can lead to embarrassment — and it's amazing what people will do to avoid embarrassment.
Stick to the point. The problem is almost never about the person or personality of the DM. It's usually trouble keeping all those "need to remember" things in mind.
Be prepared to receive a critique in return. Our world is very good at teaching people to "slap back" when proverbially slapped. Consequently (and usually unconsciously), a criticism will be returned to "make things even." Simply remember to have a skin as thick as you hope the person you're talking to has and you'll be OK.
