Stand on the shoulders of giants: find characters you'd like to emulate! Here are some heroes from fiction who show the rest of us what a true paladin looks like.
From Paksenarrion, protagonist of Elizabeth Moon's The Deed of Paksenarrion, we see that the path to greatness can be a long and painful one, but this makes the result all the more effective and much more satisfying.
O-Chul, from The Order of the Stick, demonstrates true strength. It's not about intimidating people with your badassery; it's about patience, endurance, and always doing the right thing no matter how much pain life throws at you. Be kind, be strong, never give up, and wait for your moment. Your reward will come.
Holger Carlsen, from Three Hearts and Three Lions, is an example of a paladin who uses his brains. His story also demonstrates the principle of "right makes might"--both its pitfalls and its advantages.
Michael Carpenter, from The Dresden Files, is a modern-day paladin and the father of a loving family. Being partnered with Dresden, he's a particularly good example of a paladin working with people who do not share his ideals. There's a lot of reading to do here, and Carpenter is only a secondary character, but I highly recommend the series because of how deeply Dresden sacrifices for his friends and his ideals (which are different from Carpenter's, but still very much worthwhile). And the novels are tremendously fun reading on their own.