You could use a Polymorph spell to polymorph into something like a pseudodragon, and cover both requirements.
I aked a question about this. You can view the question to see the answer. But if you don't want to, the answer was "yes". And since a pseudodragon can't speak, the polymorph spell would be satisfied, too. Obviously, you could find a wand of polymorph if you don't want to cast this spell yourself.