164

One, don’t “stand up for” anybody without talking to them first It’s possible that this is someone who doesn’t know how to stand up for herself, and will appreciate the assistance. Far more likely, however, it will just humiliate and anger her—“standing up for her” without talking to her first is condescending (implies she cannot manage for herself) and ...


155

Tell him the truth, because that's what friends do Sometimes, talking around or avoiding an issue increases trouble, rather than decreasing it. This looks to be a case of that happening. You said this in a comment. The main thing is, the DM is a good guy, but his girlfriend is adding some complications to the group because he is understandably ...


148

Don't run the campaign It is often important (but not always) for the party to have a preexisting, long term reason to stay a party. It is especially important in situations like this, with non-standard parties. Unless that reason is part of your pitch, it is incumbent upon the players to come up with that reason. Your Options Make it a One-Shot So you ...


142

First, you're off the hook for "My Guy" syndrome - this is clearly a conflict the GM orchestrated. "My Guy" happens when a player decides to use his character to justify derailing the plot, but telling you that your lost love is working with the enemy means that this is the plot. You're being presented with a genuine challenge that hinges on your buy-in of ...


131

I had a quick look around because I felt sure this would have been asked before but I can't find anything that would qualify as a duplicate. Short answer - go for it. I started playing in 1980 with a group of friends none of whom had ever seen or heard of a game anything like D&D. We made it up as we went along, had lots of fun and some of us still do. ...


124

Since I started DMing D&D a long, long time ago, I found that the dynamics of a mixed group of male ande female players is a tad different from a one-sex only group of players. This is purely anecdotal, however, and fruit of my own experiences and by no means is representative of the general gamer population. Note that, for the purposes of the ...


124

Let's look at the options Jack & Jill keep playing. Jack says this is impossible. You keep playing with Jack but not Jill. You keep playing with Jill but not Jack. You keep playing with neither Jack nor Jill. Presumably, this would involve finding a new venue. You stop playing with everyone in this group and find/build a new group. You stop playing ...


120

First and foremost, I am sorry you have to put up with Kevin. Bullying should not be tolerated1. Ever2! Sadly, your experience is far from unique. Kevin acts in the manner of a sexist bully and should be called out for such vile behaviour. That behaviour should not be tolerated at all. It violates Wheaton's law and good manners. You should not put up with ...


110

"Fine, then we just won't play." "OK." Call their bluff, whether you think it's a bluff or not. If they're bluffing, they do want to play and will buckle down and figure it out if they have to. If they're not bluffing, they don't really want to play anyway and you've dodged a bullet. (GMing for a group that doesn't really want to play is a special ...


109

Violating the agency of a player as a DM is different from an NPC violating the character's agency As a player, it is your job to play your character. You know your character's mind, their feelings, and their priorities better than anyone else. And all of this knowledge goes together to allow you to do the role you are assigned in the rules (PHB, p. 6): ...


108

[Note: When I wrote this answer, the detail about attempted sexual assault was not part of the question. If the mods allow, I'd like this answer to stand as is with the caveat that my answer below ignores that detail. However, my answer to the separate question addresses that detail.] I have experienced a similar problem to yours (though it is far in my ...


106

Is it possible to join an existing game? Yes ... but ... ... there appears to be a small group dynamics issue that needs to be addressed. (More on that at the end). Joining a campaign that is in progress The key here is to find a way to fold a new character into the "adventure in progress." I've done this dozens of times, as both DM and player, but it ...


104

"We can't talk to this player. So I don't know what to do." I think you just took away most people's #1 answer. If you can't talk to someone about issues, and you can't remove them from the game, then your choices are reduced to 1) Stay, or 2) Leave. Stay. If the overall fun outweighs the annoying bits, then stay. Ignore the behavior as much as possible, ...


102

Don't "call them out", it's about Communication As with most interpersonal issues, the focus should be on communication. You can absolutely talk with your DM about it, but you should talk to the other player first. The concerned player Right now, you haven't talked directly about this concern with the affected party. Before you do anything, you should do ...


99

Yes. You should leave. These people are not respectful, and are not worth your time. Tell your brother you're not interested, and stop joining the call — he's the only person you have actual contact with, and given the behaviour of the rest of the group you're best cutting ties with them completely. (Who would want friends like that?) You could ...


97

In game It is not an in-game problem. It needs to be solved out of game… Well, kinda. Her character being weaker might mean that she is over compensating and solution to this problem here. Meta game Having been in several situations not too dissimilar to yours, both within RPG and outside, group dynamic issues are almost always dealt best by talking to ...


96

“When you agree who gets it they can use it. Meanwhile back in the dungeon ...” Let the players sort it out however they like away from the table and when they have, the person who gets it can use it. Why should you do this? Because you are the DM, and you can explain to your players two things: By forcing them to get a grip, and to come up with a team ...


91

Use a Rolling Tray I don't want to accuse someone of cheating if they were not, but I also don't want cheating to continue if it is in fact occurring Since another player has already mentioned it, your simple solution is to use "a rolling tray" or something similar. Any roll that does not land on the rolling tray does not count. What is a rolling ...


90

Like this Life is too short to play games with poor sports. If their leaving causes others to leave, don't worry, its a big wide world out there full of gamers who are not poor sports.


90

I would honestly just leave What you're describing sounds like not just favoritism but bullying. The GM has granted Hannah the power to literally tell you to shut up for fifteen minutes --- that's a blatant abuse of their position. Being a GM is about running the game in an enjoyable manner to those present (including themselves), not about being a power-...


88

A "campaign" isn't what it used to be... Early campaigns often had multiple groups running within the same campaign. That is, the group of {Alice, Bob, Charlene, Dave, Edith, Francis, Ginny, Hal, Iris, and Jake} and the group of {Adam, Betty, Chip, Delilah, Edwin, Frances, Garth, Harriet, Isaac, and Jessica} and the group {Alice, Adam, Karen, and Luke} ...


88

Generally this "problem" tends to appear at the start of the game, where all the characters are new. My fix was to always refer to characters by their names, not pronouns. Once characters are well established, this ceases to be a problem. So, as a GM, instead of saying: What do you do? I say: What does Fred do? This works for the player as well as ...


86

The game you want to run is not the game they want to play. Fundamentally, gaming is a consensual activity. You clearly have very strong views about what kind of game you want to play, strong enough to trump your annoyance with the rest of the players not playing that game. While it's not "wrong" to require justification, it will leave you without players ...


86

The DM is charged with making rulings on a huge variety of things that go on in the course of playing the game. You can make your case for why you think it should be a given way, and then await a ruling. Once the ruling has been made at the table, the DM is right1. During play, accept that and then press on as the other players wish to play for fun and ...


86

Are you sure the player is the problem? This sounds like an issue that can be easily resolved by simply asking them. But he is nonetheless disrupting other players by showing them his drawings (or they want to see it themselves). I have the feeling that it negatively impacts the immersion of the other players. The first thing you need to do is ask the ...


83

Talk to him, preferably as a group This is really the only solution besides "Bail on the game." They key here is to be respectful, polite, and try to handle this like friends. "Confront" is not the approach you are looking for here. "Discuss" would be better. You want to approach this from the standpoint of mutual improvement of the game, not of "You are a ...


78

Other answers have already dealt capably with your question: Can DM's force skill checks? Yes. Should they do so? Maybe - maybe not. But, it appears to me that your real issue may not be the skill check itself, it's how the DM dictated your character's response to it. You said: Last session, my DM made me roll a Deception check against another player. I ...


77

It sounds like your fellow roleplayer just wants you to be verbally clear about what exactly you're doing mechanically without just pointing to a thing on your character sheet. It doesn't sound like their problem is that you're roleplaying at all—I'd be pretty surprised if they disliked flavourful descriptions of how people do things. It's pretty easy to ...


76

Roleplaying and roleplaying conflict are not My Guy Syndrome "My Guy" syndrome is often misused as a term. It's when following your idea of your character's persona creates insurmountable problems for the game, usually exacerbated by the GM being a weenie and not just saying "Well, since your PC moved to Montana while everyone else is fighting vampires in ...


75

So here's my issue: I like my character, I like our party, and I don't want to pull a 180 on my character and make him nice or throw away important motivations for him. Well, it sounds like your character just may be evil, or at least on the evil side of neutral. That doesn't mean he has to do evil things, especially if he has a reason not to. And, if he ...


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